Artists way check-in week 5: tough week. I did morning pages one day this week. Artists date - yes: interviewed, by phone, “journalism poet” Griffin Blue Fay (currently finishing an MFA at UC Irvine). This was the high point of my week. I had not anticipated how funny, current, and thoughtful this young man would be even over the phone. He touched and entertained me. I did not do any tasks, or even read the chapter, but I did think a lot about what I’ve written in previous morning pages and took a lot of solitary dog walks. Hoping I’ll get back on track next week, back in my usual time zone.
[Significant as an artists way interviewee, Griffin Fay also described his writing regimen: go sit in a favorite coffee shop three mornings per week, starting each session by listing what he wants to include in a new poem (contemporary topic, mood, tone, facts, fantasies, imagery, words, or whatever is stirring in him). If moved to, he then outlines the poem. Next he moves on to a previous outline from an earlier cafe day and turns those lines into a poem, which he will set aside and come back to and polish on another cafe visit - maybe the next visit, maybe not (he maintains a large backlog to choose from). Some poems are done at this point (in 3 sittings), some cycle back through these steps multiple times. After that, he sends the draft poem to a trusted reader - a sounding board. The cafe visit might end reviewing comments and revising one of these poems he had shared. He is much more regimented and productive(!) than I imagined.]
That structure sounds important! I remember someone telling me that an author who lived in an apartment building got dressed in a suit and tie took the elevator down to the basement every day and used that as his office, not trusting himself to do the work in his apartment.
I like how he sits outside in a cafe where maybe there aren't as many distractions, I found that works for me too, otherwise I start to find little things that just have to be done immediately! :}
What an interesting interview. To be able to see into the minds of creatives and not only their process but also the way they think.
Thanks for sharing a bit about your interview, Whitney. That sounds really interesting, and I agree it does seem more structured that I would have imagined.
Interviewing an artist for your artist date and taking dog walks sound really nurturing to your creative spirit and wonderful. Yes sometimes life is happening and coming at you so fast you really can’t keep up with the morning pages, but I find that even if I’m able to do single sided pages instead of double sided, it makes a real difference in my ability to be grounded and ready to Write letters and do activism that I need to do. I’m catching up too!
I am picturing a little you standing transfixed in an art gallery in front of an enormous black canvas and it’s a gorgeous image 💕
Artist’s Way Check In
Morning pages: Everyday this week. This week, I feel drawn to them and look forward to seeing what comes out.
Artist date: On Tuesday evening I took an online class: “How to Write a Love Poem.” It was a small group led by a poet who led us through reading and discussion of a variety of poems about love and gave us prompts to start some of our own. The time flew by and it felt so warm and lovely to be with strangers reading and writing about love together for an evening.
Tasks/Reading: Wow did the exercise on brainstorming what I would do if it wasn’t crazy / selfish bring up some blocks! I could see how anxiety works to stop me from doing things I’d love to do by filling me with worries that keep me from leaping into them. Doing this exercise made it crystal clear how much I crave travel with my husband. Anxiety tells me it’s selfish and something will go wrong with my kids while we are away. I was able to see this and voice it to my husband and make a plan that will allow us to take a trip to Europe together this summer and ensure the kids are well cared for. Very exciting and only slightly terrifying 🫣!
Creative solitude: When I have tried to make this kind of space for myself I feel overcome with a desire to sleep. Sitting with this and trying to be curious and allow for small bites of creative solitude at a time as I build up my tolerance for prioritizing my creativity.
What does art mean to me: Art has always meant something other people make that I engage with. Even now as I think, am I making art, I am not one hundred percent sold that I am. Maybe I will add in an affirmation about being a creative person who enjoys making art and see how that sits with me this week.
Who was the poet that led the class? That sounds so fun. I did a workshop with Phil Kaye, and he is known for his poem that he performed with Sarah Kay called "When Love Arrives." Curious, how old are your kids? I often struggle with the feeling of guilt with even my artist dates. I'm trying to work through it.
I’m so glad that you’ve identified something that you need and want, something that will nourish you, and you’ve made plans for it. I understand the instinct to feel guilty about leaving your children, but put it in the context of putting on your own oxygen mask first and of setting good examples for them to do what they need to do to be their best selves. I know it’s not easy.
You've made the first step planning a trip, wonderful! The stories you'll be able to share with the kids when you guys return home, they can live Europe through your eyes.
Sometimes my replies just post in the comments and don’t go to the person that I intend sorry about that. I’m trying to figure out the technical things to make sure that I’m properly replying to a certain individual.
Hello Annalise, that is so cool you’re getting up the courage and motivation to take a vacation to Europe. That is a wonderful idea. Poetry workshops are always interesting and inspiring to me too. Good idea. Good job on your pages this week. I get sleepy sometimes too. I think it’s things from my unconscious that kind of knocked me out of my own headspace that I haven’t finished processing so if I’m able to go in there and meditation and deal with it consciously that can help but sometimes I probably just need a nap. Maybe sometimes you just need a nap?
I can relate to what you’re saying about Art because I’ve been there where I thought of it as something other people did and something I didn’t do . The Artist way the first time I did it in the 90s opened me up and I found myself having the courage to start to do drawings and paintings and different kinds of things that I’ve done before and not only that it somehow gave me the courage to share it with others which resulted in Art shows and new friends and networking and then it became an exchange. So now there’s like Art incoming and Art outgoing in addition to like breath and food and water-there’s Art and poetry in coming in outgoing. I think as we continue to do pages we do gain momentum in recognizing and using and knowing our own voice, our own voices, our own ideas how we process things better. That self knowledge carries through when we interact with others as cultural strength, social strength, mental strength, personal strength, and creative strength. So I think as we introspect and work on ourselves, we’re actually working on society too, because I love the idea that everyone of us is a puzzle piece and humanity needs all the puzzle pieces to be whole. And we each have a unique spot and if we’re participating in that cycle of being inspired and then sharing inspiration, and then receiving it from others, we are engaging with the creative ecology of the Earth and the universe in a really healthy way.
I read "Are You My Mother?" probably at least twice a week with my kids now. They love the book. Now when I read it, it will have a heavier meaning as I think about the children who have to wonder and search for motherly love.
AW:
How many days this week did you do morning pages? How do you feel about this week compared to last week? Morning pages were a little more difficult for me this week. One day, I just completely forgot. I'm finding it hard to feel motivated to write them. Maybe it is a resistance to wanting to remember things or explore things deeper. Also, in my morning pages, I wrote about how I don't really remember my dreams, and felt like I haven't dreamt in years. Well the next day, and every day since, I have had these vivid dreams. It freaked me out a little bit, and perhaps that is my resistance now to the pages.
How about your artist date? Will you share what you chose to do? For my artist date, I didn't feel like going out. So I locked myself in my office with a glass of wine and watched the film "Baby Girl." It was not a good film and I understand the bad reviews. The casting didn't seem right, and I don't think they did a good job with explaining the motivations of the characters. Too many whys, and the unanswered questions left the movie feeling flat.
Did you do any of the tasks? If so, which ones? Any discoveries there? I didn't do the tasks, but will try to today and tomorrow.
Have you found space for any creative solitude this week? I did get through an outline for a novel this week - so I was proud of that. Now time to start writing. I am fortunate to have an office with a lock so that has been my creative solitude space.
What does art mean to you? The ability to create art is one of the defining characteristics that makes us human; it is an expression of life. Art is the way we can reflect and understand the world around us. When we don't understand or we want to process something, we create art to do that.
I liked your thoughts on art, 'when we don't understand or we want to process something, we create art to do that. It is so true, and I didn't really even realize I did it!
That’s totally funny about your Artist day and watching a movie that you ended up not liking that had earned it bad reviews. That’s really funny. Sometimes you need to see a bad film in order to appreciate the good ones that are well crafted. i’ve definitely become a lot pickier as I get older. After I took a screen writing class and learned that a writer has a job to hook the audience within about 10 minutes of a film. I basically don’t watch anything past 10 or 20 minutes that doesn’t earn my attention and interest. if it can’t get me in that amount of time, it’s pretty much not worth it generally. There’s always experimental film and I love that genre and there’s art movies and I love that kind of stuff too so I try to be open minded but the 10 to 20 minute rule is a good guide for me about how much time I’m willing to invest into a movie. 🍿 I like what you say here, Art is way we can reflect and understand the world around us. It can give us a handle into the meaning of life and experience and into engaging life on a level beyond survival.
You described colors and art perfectly, "I began to notice the intricacies of blue in the daylight and the browns of the earth we slept on". I feel that way sometimes when I view this magnificent world. Your writing had a bit of synchronicity to it for me, my daughter and I had just been talking about art and the impact it can have on us, how it makes us feel and how we feel as artists composing it. The depth that lies there is boundless.
It's hard to believe that we are on week 5, I have come to look forward to the morning pages and also to the exercises in the book. When I give 100% I know that what I am doing is important to me, and that makes me feel like I am on the right track.
Morning pages were done. A bit more effort, but one or two days flowed pretty easily. I did wonder if after the 12 weeks I would continue to write my pages, I'm just not sure.
For my artist's date I drove through the burn areas in Altadena. I felt such destruction needed to be witnessed. I wanted to be able to show my children and have them understand the magnitude of what happened to the earth, to the people, to their homes and belongings. I came across a few people out in front of their destroyed lives and it felt raw. No words could be expressed, yet I felt the pull to communicate. I nodded and looked them in the eye and hoped my heart shone through the grief I was feeling with them, even if it was second hand. My mind goes crazy thinking about what needs to happen in the days, weeks, months, years to get all those displaced back to their regular lives.
Tasks were completed; I didn't care for #1 about believing in a supporting God. I do not practice a religion even though I was brought up Catholic. And I think I will leave it right there. As for the other tasks they didn't feel strong this week, no insights. I enjoyed the activities in the chapter more, The virtue-trap quiz, good stuff!
I've put off making a creative space for myself for 2 weeks now. I enjoy sitting on the sofa with the animals, but I really want to make a reading nook where I have a chair in front of a window, a table for my tea, and a place to keep all my writing/reading things. This requires a bit of heavy moving, so I'll get to that this weekend.
Art to me is the smile I see on my daughters face when she is creating. It's hope, positivity, it's possibility. Art is a snapshot of a time in a person's life where they felt something deeply and truthfully and they had to share it. And the intent might have been to share it with one or two people or it might have gotten shared out into the world. Art cannot be contained or confined; it must go out into the world.
Thank you for witnessing the results of the fire in Altadena for your Artist date. What a courageous journey and what a brave and valiant heart you have to look people in the eye who must be hurting so much and still in so much shock relating to their losses.
Enjoy what you have to say about seeing your daughter create art . I also really enjoy the experience of hearing my son create and perform his music and poetry and other things. Knowing that I nurtured him creatively is also very satisfying and rewarding because he’s recognized in his community for his accomplishments, and it’s humbling to have been a nurturing influence on him to still be that too to some great degree.
I like the idea that Art must go out into the world. I mean, I’ve definitely made art that. I’m glad my curator friend did not share with the world at the time because my ideas, while courageous and controversial, are not always considered in relation to how people would actually receive them in a gallery for instance.
Most art should go out into the world, but there’s definitely art that I like to keep in my journal and that I think belongs there and that maybe should be burned after I die if not before haha! No one wants to shock the grandchildren!
This week has been more challenging. There has been too much on my plate, family stressors, too much to process in the world and in our personal lives, and a lot of time-wasting (read: doom scrolling) in my anxiety. However, I found small spaces to be consistent. I wrote morning pages every day. I hope to do my artist date tomorrow and take myself to a coffee shop. I did not do any activities, and alone moments seemed to be filled with intentional or unintentional distraction. I did find a few moments to work on the creative piece I have been wrestling with while my daughter was at swim practice. That is a win for the week. The art of poetry has been grounding for me lately. Sometimes I find that no one can say it better than a poet, and of late, I have been leaning heavily into a poem or two a night.
I am hopeful to get back to a more grounded place in the next week or two. I am traveling with my oldest daughter next week so schedules will be inconsistent. However, I can commit to small choices like staying more present and continuing to commit to the process.
Oh, and I forgot to add that I loved your piece, Michelle. Are You My Mother was my favorite book as a child. I think I used it as a way to process feeling a bit on the outside or different. Something not quite feeling right. I think I have come to accept as I have aged that finding "home" is my lifelong journey.
I asked my class to find one positive that happened this week, and to just blurt it out. In a room of about 15 of us not one could. Then this girl in the front said, 'it's just really been a challenging week'. I felt we needed to sit with that.
I’ve considered writing a piece with the title “The Coming Mental Health Tsunami”.
Of course I’m not done reading everyone’s comment but so far this has been a hard week for everyone, and why not when every day there is more bad news?
Wow, yeah. We have such great human rights here in California that we take for granted that the rest of the United States is full of racism and homophobia and ideas about the importance and value of things that have nothing to do with creativity and that don’t honor their creative source. Definitely a hard week for everyone.
I think everyone can relate. I know I can to feeling really overwhelmed and like there’s so much to process right now because, frankly, there is. Finding small spaces to be consistent is really the key in maintaining connection with your creativity and the creative input and outgo of that aspect of your consciousness. I think two there’s something I call Art mind that I know it’s a title of some art event somewhere in like Connecticut or something, but I don’t remember hearing about it. I thought of it in 2000 and did some art on the concept and it’s actually just kind of like where you see life is art and where you see from the perspective of an artist . As I was growing up, I was taught to try to have an objective view about medical things and later in college I learned to take different points of view to discuss where is ways of interpreting art and exploring it. And just like there’s a viewpoint of scientific objectivity there’s also like a viewpoint you can cultivate within yourself that’s deeply connected with that poetry connection. You have where you can keep that creative spirit with you and view things from that perspective anytime you want as you continue to grow that muscle. Sorry if I’m not using grammar and punctuation properly I am tired but I wanna read these and see what everybody’s doing and respond lol.
I’m curious, who the poets are that you like best that really speak to you?
I am a huge fan of short poetry forms, especially haiku and related tanka (tankga?) styles. Also, these poems fit well into my life during the years I was raising my son and going to college and working. I can totally relate to squeezing in a little something for yourself while your kids at swim practice- good job. 👏
Enjoy your travels with your daughter next week. Stay safe.
Thank you Michelle for sharing your inciteful story about finding your connection to art. I spent the week being an adult. I'm not sure why adulting excludes fun and creativity and art, but in my world it seems to. I don't like adulting, but for what it's worth, I'm good at it. Assessing fire damage, meeting insurance adjusters, building inspections, contractors, budgets, finances, scheduling, negotiating, and talking to attorneys.....ugh! adulting! My life is sharply divided into the creative (designing, writing, storytelling) and the macho world of construction. While they exist side-by-side, rarely do they cross. But there is a certain magic when on occasion they do cross. Like when a MAGA, gun toting job supervisor confided in me that his son was gay. Or when a tough guy construction worker told me about his hobby of raising turtles. He spoke about the turtles as though they were his children . And yet another told me in great detail about his love for raising orchids. I hope to find a way to join my art and my business acumen as the artists Christo and JR have. Art may yet be the answer to bridging this divided world.
I love this dichotomy you speak of between the world of construction and the world of creativity, and it brings to mind the question of the individual artist versus communal, creative efforts, and art as leadership. When I learned that August Rodan, and other artists use craftsman to create the physical objects of art after they create an original or an idea, I was completely blown away that something could be considered art and you could be the author, even if you didn’t craft the object. I mean, in a way we’re all living in a world dreamed up by people who came before us - buildings and cars and technology.
Good job getting through the myriad tasks you have to deal with as a result of the fires.
I enjoy hearing about the dichotomy between the conservative, tough guys you work with sometimes and their own families and hobbies and beloved pets . So interesting to see into the hearts and minds of others.
I was in Human Resources at a construction company for 7 years, and met a lot of surprisingly artistic people in the trade. As you mentioned, you have to be an artist of sorts to build something, right?
Love the images of those guys with turtles and orchids. Reminds me of the I have a dream song from Tangled. Thank you for being an ally to the LGBTQ+ community.
Getting up early or later, I wrote everyday. I don't remember much of what I wrote, but I noticed I started writing about affirmation, versions of Uni, truth, and love. I also noticed the images and thoughts I had before bed influenced my pages.
One night I stayed up much later, binge watching YouTube about Taiwan (public transportation, buildings, safety, food...). The next morning's pages were mostly about those images and why I chose to click on some videos but not others. Maybe the algorithm knows more about myself than I do.
Artist Date--
I thought about Brie going to AMOCA (American Museum of Ceramic Art). There's another gem in ceramics exhibition nearby. It's the Ceramic Annual at Ruth Chandler Williamson Gallery in Scripps College. The show starts this month. My artist day was planned, but I messed up the time. I was all dressed and ready, but the gallery opens at noon. The later time to the gallery will have me rushed through and make the rest of the day unpleasant. The show will be on for another 2 months. I decided to cancel the date and take the time for self care and walking my dog before work. I enjoyed the leisure walk so much that I was glad I cancelled the gallery date.
I wondered if this were a date with someone else, would I have cancelled it for not rushing the day, or would I hurry other things to make the date?
Tasks--
I did all the exercises as I read along the text. By the time I got to the tasks, I already lost steam. I hit a huge boulder on that Image File task. I sighed at the lack of inspiration I can put on an image board. Later then.
Space for creative solitude--
Preparing breakfast/brunch/tea and enjoying it is like my daily artist date. I always have things nutritious and simple I can cook from my fridge and pantry.
What does art mean to me-- it seems to be something that has a distance from me.
Pauline, one of my artist’s date was going to be to go to the opening last Saturday night and I chose consciously not to but I also am going to go to the Ruth Chandler Williamson ceramic show👍🏽
Janice, I went to the opening night a few years ago when they showed their permanent collection. I met up with a few friends from AMOCA, but I was overwhelmed with so many people and artists there. I am looking forward to seeing who's work is showcased this year.
Thinking about how your morning pages and dreams are influenced by what you do before bed the night before is really interesting. My 20s and 30s and a lot of my teens I journaled my dreams almost daily and sometimes it could take me two or three hours to write out the whole dream because by then I remembered so many details of it. Later in my 30s when I went to college and in my 40s, I was too busy raising my son and working and going to school to be able to give attention to my dreams at all.
Definitely this is a practice. I’m wanting to revisit and I seem to recall from books I’ve read in the past on “lucid dreaming” that setting your intentions and having a notebook out that you can reach for before you even get out of bed is a good practice.
Sleep hygiene requires that I use my bed only for sleep or marital type intimacy. But journaling my dreams is such a great process to understand how my conscious mind interfaces with my unconscious and also my spirit that it’s a good practice. Plus, it gives me plenty of water or fuel or details to include in poetry or other art that I’m making because I tend to draw from my dreams more when I remember them.
I like that you’re thinking about not rushing through things because mindfulness and observation are important aspects of our creativity . Relaxing genuinely matters.
Thank you for sharing and participating in this with us all !
I have tried writing down my dreams for a short while when I was younger. I must have thought that was novel but didn't see the point of it and quickly abandoned it. It's hard writing down dreams when the body is ready to warm up and get going. I do cherish the time between waking and rising, I often have ideas popped up in that space.
I did the MPs every day (Tom, having an accountability partner helps! And I appreciate your comment about how the structure is beneficial to you, too.). Did many of the exercises but fewer of the tasks. I know that a creative block I have is to keep “doing things”, there are always tasks/chores etc., and I know I need a structure to help support a consistent artistic routine/endeavor each week. I blame myself for staying blocked.
Art to me is a journey into the unknown which opens the way to a new truth about ourselves and our perception of the world.
My artist date was spending time on the couch with a bunch of children’s books, savoring the imagery and sweet prose and the messages sent. A welcome sojourn away from the crazy state of our current world. Went to the library and put some holds on book for next week’s artist date, exploring photography after a long hiatus. Hope the books come in soon!
It was interesting that I ran into a person in my neighborhood on a walk yesterday, when I did not take my usual route, and he is the inspiration for a book I’m trying to develop, and I haven’t seen him in months…made me think about blocking out the structure of the book…
That’s an interesting synchronicity that you ran into that person your muse and I think it would be an interesting exercise to indeed sketch out your ideas.
Love love love this: “Art to me is a journey into the unknown which opens the way to a new truth about ourselves and our perception of the world.”
Children’s books are so wonderful and inspiring! Maurice Sendak was one of my favorite authors, and Jane Yolen. Curious about your faves? If you have time to share.
Hard week. My bestie hospitalized again. Partner out of town, just behind on everything. I don't love how the author of the book suggests you're just making excuses if you don't do the program fully. It feels really privileged. Not all of us have backup and support that allows us to drop things to put ourselves first.
I read the chapter but didn't get to the questions or tasks. I think i did morning pages once? I went on a solo walk in a new neighborhood, though not for an hour, but not any of the exciting artist dates I've dreamed up. I'll try to catch up next week.
Art, to me, is a way to see and express in novel ways.
And love back at you, Deborah. I agree that we’re not all in perfect places to devote our full attention to this and I think it’s perfectly OK for us to just show up when we can and when we do to really authentically show up.
I’m retired and I don’t have time to do everything . 😉.
The important message to take away is self love and that as long as we go around being the best we can be that’s fabulous ❤️🩹❤️🩹
I like that Janice. When we are able to show up, be present in authenticity for yourself. If you can’t show up for 100% it’s still really good to show up for 30% or whatever you can muster. It builds continuation of intent, if nothing else. It maintains a continuum of intent to access creative flow.
+1 to everything Janice said. We all do our best in the circumstances we find ourselves. Be kind to yourself, well wishes to your friend, and loving support.
Hi Deborah, I’m so sorry to hear about your friend’s illness. I hope they get better soon.
I think things were very different when that book was written. Our lifestyle and society and culture were different - it was more analog and we were less generally obsessed with our cell phone familiars.
Yes, julia definitely approaches creativity as a discipline almost like a monk would, a an initiate into a religious order. I enjoy that kind of commitment and intensity when I can participate fully but full steam is not for everyone especially right now when our world needs a lot of our attention genuinely.
I think like anything you get out as much as you can put in . If you can do more, you get more out of it but only if you’re able to make it more of a priority and our world is in a momentary state of chaos that definitely requires that we make choices about how we spend our time. Taken care of yourself and your friend and your family is definitely a higher priority right now and that’s a good thing. It’s good to know what your priorities are.
I love this poem, Michelle, and I love that children’s book and I can relate in my own way. Thank you for sharing your experiences thoughts emotions and journey and wisdom. Thank you for teaching and nurturing and guiding me/us through the Artists Way course & practice. And just as a human being. Thank you for being and continuing.
Another (adopted) writer, scholar, friend, and wise woman, Jennifer Jaffe, and I have come to understand through the years of our friendship that as women, we mother one another.
I love Ad Reinhardt’s Abstract Painting, No. 34, a “color field” painting- it reminds me of the James Webb Space Telescope images of our universe and all the galaxies in every direction. What freedom! To see the night sky and wonder what my ancestors wondered, marvel at the majesty of the music of the spheres. Inner worlds & outer worlds. Not only to be curious about my personal ancestors but the ancestors of the peoples that were born and grew on this land for 10,000 years or more. We all share ancestry, the whole human family. I read in the 2000s that scientists had genetically traced human ancestors to a group of about 36 women. I wonder what we’ve learned since then.
AW Check In:
Did pages all but 1 day this week. One or 2 days it took me all day, but, worth it even so. Texted with my accountability buddy (Alexis) a few times, which makes it more fun because it’s a shared interest and practice.
My artists date was to attend a protest at the California State Capitol. I had a huge awesome experience of synchronicity in the process of accomplishing my Artists date. In a happy accident I was confused about the day and went on Tuesday to a protest that was scheduled for Wednesday. After figuring out that there was no one at the west steps of the capital I wandered around my old neighborhood where I lived for many years and visited a favorite corner store owned by the same family for many decades, where I used to buy snacks and drinks.
I visited the building I used to live in when I had a miraculous experience in 1993 (I was 20 then, it was early May) of being filled with & transformed by God‘s absolute compassion and love for about 40 minutes as I prayed to be healed from child abuse and for all humanity to be healed from child abuse.
I actually got up the courage to leave a message for the person who lives in that apartment now and give them my number and ask if I could come take some reference photos for art or films that I want to make relating to that bathtub where I had such a beautiful experience of completion and joy. I think I will write them a letter and maybe send them some of my writing or poetry and invite them to explore some of the links of my art that I have up so they know that I’m serious and I’m not just some weirdo who wants to go through their apartment and take pictures.
As I started back towards my car, I passed by an old café (now closed) where I used to put on events and perform with friends and fellow creatives, feeling a bit melancholic and nostalgic. The aroma of freshly roasted coffee met me on the sidewalk and seduced me with its subtle wholesomeness into a brand new café, nextdoor to the old, called Anchor & Tree.
I have not been a habitual coffee drinker in many years. But I love coffee. As I explored the really beautiful art and the gorgeous custom woman-crafted reclaimed wood furniture and purchased hot sauce for my son, and a sticker made of very thin wood that has flowers printed or lasered into it, I got to know the gal behind the register a little. In the process of handing her my card I ended up chatting also with a man who turned out to be the co-owner. He noticed that my card said that I was an artist and had my website. By the time I came out of the restroom he had looked at my work and he offered me a show for April. This will be my second solo show. We confirmed it on the phone later in the afternoon and I am so excited and it was so unexpected. The clear commitment of the owners, a gay couple, to creating something really beautiful and open and free and inclusive and healthy was so clear in the energy of the place and the people there.
I bought a small package of their custom roasted instant coffee. I’ve been sipping it all week and it is the best thing I have ever tasted. There’s not a hint of bitterness in it. It needs no milk or sugar. The flavor and texture are exquisitely well-rounded. I later learned that the roasting machine is a cutting-edge environmentally sound and eco-friendly creature.
On Wednesday, I actually did make it to the protest and I did all the good protestor stuff: I put my phone on airplane mode and wore a mask and a hoodie and comfortable walking shoes and brought a bottled water and a protein cookie in a small backpack. it felt amazing to be in the midst of people chanting for equality & diversity & tolerance, shouting about freedom and justice and the tyranny of the day. “No Nazis! No KKK! No Fascist USA!” Same song every decade but I wouldn’t want to live in a world where I couldn’t shop those things at the top of my lungs with a group of like-minded individuals.
I think I’m a little behind in the reading. Which chapter are we reading today for the coming week? I was ahead, now I’m a little behind.
What an amazing week. I woke up a few times feeling validated and empowered and supported and strengthened, especially by older women who are activists who just hold this amazing space for all of us to be mothers and warriors and everything in between that life requires of us or that we have the opportunity to explore of our own volition.
Every time my pen touches the paper, I feel a connection to something ineffable, vital, sacred, and important and I can’t explain it and I don’t know exactly what it is, but I know I can only get there through the written word. I think it may be my future self. A more self-actualized person that I am in the process of becoming.
I will probably be able to approach some of the tasks more this week as I catch up on the reading.
I look forward to reading everyone else’s posts and our resultant conversations.
Thank you, Michelle for creating the space for us and thank you to everybody for sharing this practice space with me. 🙏🏼
"Every time my pen touches the paper, I feel a connection to something ineffable, vital, sacred, and important and I can’t explain it and I don’t know exactly what it is, but I know I can only get there through the written word. I think it may be my future self."
This is a beautiful passage and it fits with the description that I often use for where I am, "on a journey, purpose and destination unknown."
Keely, thank you for sharing your words, and huge congratulations on the show in April. Would love to know more details as it would give me another excuse to find my way to Sacramento.
Michelle beautiful post as always, and I loved* your poem "This is Not a Metaphor." *Loved does not feel like the right word, but it was the simplest. The poem is vulnerable but powerful, vivid but stark, and beautiful yet poignant.
Artist Way Check In:
(1) Managed to complete MP everyday, but today's where more like mid afternoon. For some reason my posture for some of the days seemed to tired my arm out more. It was particularly helpful to have an accountability partner. Thank you Kathleen!
(2) For my artist date, I went to the public library in my home town, and signed up for my first library card in probably 30 years. I did not check anything out (as I have 20+ books to be read already), but I sat down and for an hour read through a book on how to take better pictures focusing (no pun intended) on the art of composition and some technical aspects.
(3) I read the chapter and had intentions of completing some tasks, but ultimately did not get around to them. I may have to take myself out on a date just to complete some of the tasks. :)
(4) I have not found a particular space for artistic solitude, but I have some spaces where I go to watch sunsets or sunrises that allow me some of that solitude.
(5) This feels like the deepest question and one to which 18 months ago, I probably would have given an anodyne answer to. Of course as I start to write a less anodyne response, I find myself stumbling over the words. I think art is an evocative expression that connects people to themselves, others, and potentially the artist themselves. Art expresses the full range of human emotion and if we see or listen with genuine curiosity we can find ourselves touched and/or deeply challenged. Yet, art is ultimately a deeply personal expression of the artists, and when we are vulnerable enough to be uncool and share our deepest art, it can become great art.
I love that you got a library card for the first time in 30 years. A couple of weeks ago I got one for the first time in a bunch of years as well but I have yet to use it. I’ll let you know when I do.
Consider exploring the app Libby, which you can use your library card with to check out e-books or audiobooks for free using your library card.
I think it’s particularly true that when we make art and tap into vulnerable elements that may even need to be protected from the idea of “cool “ this can be deeply authentic and satisfying to both share and receive because they validate our shared humanity, which is mostly not cool because it’s either survival stuff or dysfunction as we learn and grow and make errors and mistakes in our lives and try to improve on the lot that we were given. Life is a messy process when we’re realistic with ourselves. I like the idea that Art is out of control and has a life of its own and the sense of where that flow can take us within ourselves and into our world and new understanding of our world and experience. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you Keely. I will check out (no pun intended) Libby.
I do love the idea of being authentically uncool, but I also have to admit that in this regard I am very much influenced by this scene in Almost Famous: https://youtu.be/WzY2pWrXB_0?si=aKH1pkFRST2PZlM3
Great scene! 🎬 funny, what he says about good looking people basically not having enough challenges in life to develop their personality or art as much as the un.
Artists way check-in week 5: tough week. I did morning pages one day this week. Artists date - yes: interviewed, by phone, “journalism poet” Griffin Blue Fay (currently finishing an MFA at UC Irvine). This was the high point of my week. I had not anticipated how funny, current, and thoughtful this young man would be even over the phone. He touched and entertained me. I did not do any tasks, or even read the chapter, but I did think a lot about what I’ve written in previous morning pages and took a lot of solitary dog walks. Hoping I’ll get back on track next week, back in my usual time zone.
[Significant as an artists way interviewee, Griffin Fay also described his writing regimen: go sit in a favorite coffee shop three mornings per week, starting each session by listing what he wants to include in a new poem (contemporary topic, mood, tone, facts, fantasies, imagery, words, or whatever is stirring in him). If moved to, he then outlines the poem. Next he moves on to a previous outline from an earlier cafe day and turns those lines into a poem, which he will set aside and come back to and polish on another cafe visit - maybe the next visit, maybe not (he maintains a large backlog to choose from). Some poems are done at this point (in 3 sittings), some cycle back through these steps multiple times. After that, he sends the draft poem to a trusted reader - a sounding board. The cafe visit might end reviewing comments and revising one of these poems he had shared. He is much more regimented and productive(!) than I imagined.]
That structure sounds important! I remember someone telling me that an author who lived in an apartment building got dressed in a suit and tie took the elevator down to the basement every day and used that as his office, not trusting himself to do the work in his apartment.
I like how he sits outside in a cafe where maybe there aren't as many distractions, I found that works for me too, otherwise I start to find little things that just have to be done immediately! :}
What an interesting interview. To be able to see into the minds of creatives and not only their process but also the way they think.
What a fabulous artist date! Articulating what art is to each of us, to our friends, isn’t that a lot of what this is all about?
Thank you for sharing his writing regimen. I always like to get ideas for structuring my own routine.
Thanks for sharing a bit about your interview, Whitney. That sounds really interesting, and I agree it does seem more structured that I would have imagined.
Interviewing an artist for your artist date and taking dog walks sound really nurturing to your creative spirit and wonderful. Yes sometimes life is happening and coming at you so fast you really can’t keep up with the morning pages, but I find that even if I’m able to do single sided pages instead of double sided, it makes a real difference in my ability to be grounded and ready to Write letters and do activism that I need to do. I’m catching up too!
Thank you for this beautiful post, Michelle 🙏🏼
I am picturing a little you standing transfixed in an art gallery in front of an enormous black canvas and it’s a gorgeous image 💕
Artist’s Way Check In
Morning pages: Everyday this week. This week, I feel drawn to them and look forward to seeing what comes out.
Artist date: On Tuesday evening I took an online class: “How to Write a Love Poem.” It was a small group led by a poet who led us through reading and discussion of a variety of poems about love and gave us prompts to start some of our own. The time flew by and it felt so warm and lovely to be with strangers reading and writing about love together for an evening.
Tasks/Reading: Wow did the exercise on brainstorming what I would do if it wasn’t crazy / selfish bring up some blocks! I could see how anxiety works to stop me from doing things I’d love to do by filling me with worries that keep me from leaping into them. Doing this exercise made it crystal clear how much I crave travel with my husband. Anxiety tells me it’s selfish and something will go wrong with my kids while we are away. I was able to see this and voice it to my husband and make a plan that will allow us to take a trip to Europe together this summer and ensure the kids are well cared for. Very exciting and only slightly terrifying 🫣!
Creative solitude: When I have tried to make this kind of space for myself I feel overcome with a desire to sleep. Sitting with this and trying to be curious and allow for small bites of creative solitude at a time as I build up my tolerance for prioritizing my creativity.
What does art mean to me: Art has always meant something other people make that I engage with. Even now as I think, am I making art, I am not one hundred percent sold that I am. Maybe I will add in an affirmation about being a creative person who enjoys making art and see how that sits with me this week.
Annelise,
Who was the poet that led the class? That sounds so fun. I did a workshop with Phil Kaye, and he is known for his poem that he performed with Sarah Kay called "When Love Arrives." Curious, how old are your kids? I often struggle with the feeling of guilt with even my artist dates. I'm trying to work through it.
I love that you have made plans to go to Europe! That is absolutely wonderful and exciting.
I’m so glad that you’ve identified something that you need and want, something that will nourish you, and you’ve made plans for it. I understand the instinct to feel guilty about leaving your children, but put it in the context of putting on your own oxygen mask first and of setting good examples for them to do what they need to do to be their best selves. I know it’s not easy.
You've made the first step planning a trip, wonderful! The stories you'll be able to share with the kids when you guys return home, they can live Europe through your eyes.
Sometimes my replies just post in the comments and don’t go to the person that I intend sorry about that. I’m trying to figure out the technical things to make sure that I’m properly replying to a certain individual.
Hello Annalise, that is so cool you’re getting up the courage and motivation to take a vacation to Europe. That is a wonderful idea. Poetry workshops are always interesting and inspiring to me too. Good idea. Good job on your pages this week. I get sleepy sometimes too. I think it’s things from my unconscious that kind of knocked me out of my own headspace that I haven’t finished processing so if I’m able to go in there and meditation and deal with it consciously that can help but sometimes I probably just need a nap. Maybe sometimes you just need a nap?
I can relate to what you’re saying about Art because I’ve been there where I thought of it as something other people did and something I didn’t do . The Artist way the first time I did it in the 90s opened me up and I found myself having the courage to start to do drawings and paintings and different kinds of things that I’ve done before and not only that it somehow gave me the courage to share it with others which resulted in Art shows and new friends and networking and then it became an exchange. So now there’s like Art incoming and Art outgoing in addition to like breath and food and water-there’s Art and poetry in coming in outgoing. I think as we continue to do pages we do gain momentum in recognizing and using and knowing our own voice, our own voices, our own ideas how we process things better. That self knowledge carries through when we interact with others as cultural strength, social strength, mental strength, personal strength, and creative strength. So I think as we introspect and work on ourselves, we’re actually working on society too, because I love the idea that everyone of us is a puzzle piece and humanity needs all the puzzle pieces to be whole. And we each have a unique spot and if we’re participating in that cycle of being inspired and then sharing inspiration, and then receiving it from others, we are engaging with the creative ecology of the Earth and the universe in a really healthy way.
Finding small spaces to be consistent in showing up for our artist selves. No small thing.
I read "Are You My Mother?" probably at least twice a week with my kids now. They love the book. Now when I read it, it will have a heavier meaning as I think about the children who have to wonder and search for motherly love.
AW:
How many days this week did you do morning pages? How do you feel about this week compared to last week? Morning pages were a little more difficult for me this week. One day, I just completely forgot. I'm finding it hard to feel motivated to write them. Maybe it is a resistance to wanting to remember things or explore things deeper. Also, in my morning pages, I wrote about how I don't really remember my dreams, and felt like I haven't dreamt in years. Well the next day, and every day since, I have had these vivid dreams. It freaked me out a little bit, and perhaps that is my resistance now to the pages.
How about your artist date? Will you share what you chose to do? For my artist date, I didn't feel like going out. So I locked myself in my office with a glass of wine and watched the film "Baby Girl." It was not a good film and I understand the bad reviews. The casting didn't seem right, and I don't think they did a good job with explaining the motivations of the characters. Too many whys, and the unanswered questions left the movie feeling flat.
Did you do any of the tasks? If so, which ones? Any discoveries there? I didn't do the tasks, but will try to today and tomorrow.
Have you found space for any creative solitude this week? I did get through an outline for a novel this week - so I was proud of that. Now time to start writing. I am fortunate to have an office with a lock so that has been my creative solitude space.
What does art mean to you? The ability to create art is one of the defining characteristics that makes us human; it is an expression of life. Art is the way we can reflect and understand the world around us. When we don't understand or we want to process something, we create art to do that.
I liked your thoughts on art, 'when we don't understand or we want to process something, we create art to do that. It is so true, and I didn't really even realize I did it!
That’s totally funny about your Artist day and watching a movie that you ended up not liking that had earned it bad reviews. That’s really funny. Sometimes you need to see a bad film in order to appreciate the good ones that are well crafted. i’ve definitely become a lot pickier as I get older. After I took a screen writing class and learned that a writer has a job to hook the audience within about 10 minutes of a film. I basically don’t watch anything past 10 or 20 minutes that doesn’t earn my attention and interest. if it can’t get me in that amount of time, it’s pretty much not worth it generally. There’s always experimental film and I love that genre and there’s art movies and I love that kind of stuff too so I try to be open minded but the 10 to 20 minute rule is a good guide for me about how much time I’m willing to invest into a movie. 🍿 I like what you say here, Art is way we can reflect and understand the world around us. It can give us a handle into the meaning of life and experience and into engaging life on a level beyond survival.
You described colors and art perfectly, "I began to notice the intricacies of blue in the daylight and the browns of the earth we slept on". I feel that way sometimes when I view this magnificent world. Your writing had a bit of synchronicity to it for me, my daughter and I had just been talking about art and the impact it can have on us, how it makes us feel and how we feel as artists composing it. The depth that lies there is boundless.
It's hard to believe that we are on week 5, I have come to look forward to the morning pages and also to the exercises in the book. When I give 100% I know that what I am doing is important to me, and that makes me feel like I am on the right track.
Morning pages were done. A bit more effort, but one or two days flowed pretty easily. I did wonder if after the 12 weeks I would continue to write my pages, I'm just not sure.
For my artist's date I drove through the burn areas in Altadena. I felt such destruction needed to be witnessed. I wanted to be able to show my children and have them understand the magnitude of what happened to the earth, to the people, to their homes and belongings. I came across a few people out in front of their destroyed lives and it felt raw. No words could be expressed, yet I felt the pull to communicate. I nodded and looked them in the eye and hoped my heart shone through the grief I was feeling with them, even if it was second hand. My mind goes crazy thinking about what needs to happen in the days, weeks, months, years to get all those displaced back to their regular lives.
Tasks were completed; I didn't care for #1 about believing in a supporting God. I do not practice a religion even though I was brought up Catholic. And I think I will leave it right there. As for the other tasks they didn't feel strong this week, no insights. I enjoyed the activities in the chapter more, The virtue-trap quiz, good stuff!
I've put off making a creative space for myself for 2 weeks now. I enjoy sitting on the sofa with the animals, but I really want to make a reading nook where I have a chair in front of a window, a table for my tea, and a place to keep all my writing/reading things. This requires a bit of heavy moving, so I'll get to that this weekend.
Art to me is the smile I see on my daughters face when she is creating. It's hope, positivity, it's possibility. Art is a snapshot of a time in a person's life where they felt something deeply and truthfully and they had to share it. And the intent might have been to share it with one or two people or it might have gotten shared out into the world. Art cannot be contained or confined; it must go out into the world.
Thank you for witnessing the results of the fire in Altadena for your Artist date. What a courageous journey and what a brave and valiant heart you have to look people in the eye who must be hurting so much and still in so much shock relating to their losses.
Enjoy what you have to say about seeing your daughter create art . I also really enjoy the experience of hearing my son create and perform his music and poetry and other things. Knowing that I nurtured him creatively is also very satisfying and rewarding because he’s recognized in his community for his accomplishments, and it’s humbling to have been a nurturing influence on him to still be that too to some great degree.
I like the idea that Art must go out into the world. I mean, I’ve definitely made art that. I’m glad my curator friend did not share with the world at the time because my ideas, while courageous and controversial, are not always considered in relation to how people would actually receive them in a gallery for instance.
Most art should go out into the world, but there’s definitely art that I like to keep in my journal and that I think belongs there and that maybe should be burned after I die if not before haha! No one wants to shock the grandchildren!
Some art is for limited audiences only.
This week has been more challenging. There has been too much on my plate, family stressors, too much to process in the world and in our personal lives, and a lot of time-wasting (read: doom scrolling) in my anxiety. However, I found small spaces to be consistent. I wrote morning pages every day. I hope to do my artist date tomorrow and take myself to a coffee shop. I did not do any activities, and alone moments seemed to be filled with intentional or unintentional distraction. I did find a few moments to work on the creative piece I have been wrestling with while my daughter was at swim practice. That is a win for the week. The art of poetry has been grounding for me lately. Sometimes I find that no one can say it better than a poet, and of late, I have been leaning heavily into a poem or two a night.
I am hopeful to get back to a more grounded place in the next week or two. I am traveling with my oldest daughter next week so schedules will be inconsistent. However, I can commit to small choices like staying more present and continuing to commit to the process.
Oh, and I forgot to add that I loved your piece, Michelle. Are You My Mother was my favorite book as a child. I think I used it as a way to process feeling a bit on the outside or different. Something not quite feeling right. I think I have come to accept as I have aged that finding "home" is my lifelong journey.
finding home is most certainly a lifelong journey... thank you for sharing your story, for your vulnerability, and for the poetry of your practice.
I think to find our "home" we also have to find ourselves and that too is a lifelong journey.
So true
I asked my class to find one positive that happened this week, and to just blurt it out. In a room of about 15 of us not one could. Then this girl in the front said, 'it's just really been a challenging week'. I felt we needed to sit with that.
Your win for the week was big, bask in it.
I’ve considered writing a piece with the title “The Coming Mental Health Tsunami”.
Of course I’m not done reading everyone’s comment but so far this has been a hard week for everyone, and why not when every day there is more bad news?
Wow, yeah. We have such great human rights here in California that we take for granted that the rest of the United States is full of racism and homophobia and ideas about the importance and value of things that have nothing to do with creativity and that don’t honor their creative source. Definitely a hard week for everyone.
I love the idea of continuing to commit to small choices. That’s so healthy to be realistic.
I think everyone can relate. I know I can to feeling really overwhelmed and like there’s so much to process right now because, frankly, there is. Finding small spaces to be consistent is really the key in maintaining connection with your creativity and the creative input and outgo of that aspect of your consciousness. I think two there’s something I call Art mind that I know it’s a title of some art event somewhere in like Connecticut or something, but I don’t remember hearing about it. I thought of it in 2000 and did some art on the concept and it’s actually just kind of like where you see life is art and where you see from the perspective of an artist . As I was growing up, I was taught to try to have an objective view about medical things and later in college I learned to take different points of view to discuss where is ways of interpreting art and exploring it. And just like there’s a viewpoint of scientific objectivity there’s also like a viewpoint you can cultivate within yourself that’s deeply connected with that poetry connection. You have where you can keep that creative spirit with you and view things from that perspective anytime you want as you continue to grow that muscle. Sorry if I’m not using grammar and punctuation properly I am tired but I wanna read these and see what everybody’s doing and respond lol.
I’m curious, who the poets are that you like best that really speak to you?
I am a huge fan of short poetry forms, especially haiku and related tanka (tankga?) styles. Also, these poems fit well into my life during the years I was raising my son and going to college and working. I can totally relate to squeezing in a little something for yourself while your kids at swim practice- good job. 👏
Enjoy your travels with your daughter next week. Stay safe.
Thank you Michelle for sharing your inciteful story about finding your connection to art. I spent the week being an adult. I'm not sure why adulting excludes fun and creativity and art, but in my world it seems to. I don't like adulting, but for what it's worth, I'm good at it. Assessing fire damage, meeting insurance adjusters, building inspections, contractors, budgets, finances, scheduling, negotiating, and talking to attorneys.....ugh! adulting! My life is sharply divided into the creative (designing, writing, storytelling) and the macho world of construction. While they exist side-by-side, rarely do they cross. But there is a certain magic when on occasion they do cross. Like when a MAGA, gun toting job supervisor confided in me that his son was gay. Or when a tough guy construction worker told me about his hobby of raising turtles. He spoke about the turtles as though they were his children . And yet another told me in great detail about his love for raising orchids. I hope to find a way to join my art and my business acumen as the artists Christo and JR have. Art may yet be the answer to bridging this divided world.
I love this dichotomy you speak of between the world of construction and the world of creativity, and it brings to mind the question of the individual artist versus communal, creative efforts, and art as leadership. When I learned that August Rodan, and other artists use craftsman to create the physical objects of art after they create an original or an idea, I was completely blown away that something could be considered art and you could be the author, even if you didn’t craft the object. I mean, in a way we’re all living in a world dreamed up by people who came before us - buildings and cars and technology.
Good job getting through the myriad tasks you have to deal with as a result of the fires.
I enjoy hearing about the dichotomy between the conservative, tough guys you work with sometimes and their own families and hobbies and beloved pets . So interesting to see into the hearts and minds of others.
I was in Human Resources at a construction company for 7 years, and met a lot of surprisingly artistic people in the trade. As you mentioned, you have to be an artist of sorts to build something, right?
Love the images of those guys with turtles and orchids. Reminds me of the I have a dream song from Tangled. Thank you for being an ally to the LGBTQ+ community.
Barry, what a beautiful commentary. Art is the answer? From your mouth to God’s ears. ❤️🩹
Hi, fellow artist, Pauline checking in:
Morning pages--
Getting up early or later, I wrote everyday. I don't remember much of what I wrote, but I noticed I started writing about affirmation, versions of Uni, truth, and love. I also noticed the images and thoughts I had before bed influenced my pages.
One night I stayed up much later, binge watching YouTube about Taiwan (public transportation, buildings, safety, food...). The next morning's pages were mostly about those images and why I chose to click on some videos but not others. Maybe the algorithm knows more about myself than I do.
Artist Date--
I thought about Brie going to AMOCA (American Museum of Ceramic Art). There's another gem in ceramics exhibition nearby. It's the Ceramic Annual at Ruth Chandler Williamson Gallery in Scripps College. The show starts this month. My artist day was planned, but I messed up the time. I was all dressed and ready, but the gallery opens at noon. The later time to the gallery will have me rushed through and make the rest of the day unpleasant. The show will be on for another 2 months. I decided to cancel the date and take the time for self care and walking my dog before work. I enjoyed the leisure walk so much that I was glad I cancelled the gallery date.
I wondered if this were a date with someone else, would I have cancelled it for not rushing the day, or would I hurry other things to make the date?
Tasks--
I did all the exercises as I read along the text. By the time I got to the tasks, I already lost steam. I hit a huge boulder on that Image File task. I sighed at the lack of inspiration I can put on an image board. Later then.
Space for creative solitude--
Preparing breakfast/brunch/tea and enjoying it is like my daily artist date. I always have things nutritious and simple I can cook from my fridge and pantry.
What does art mean to me-- it seems to be something that has a distance from me.
Pauline, one of my artist’s date was going to be to go to the opening last Saturday night and I chose consciously not to but I also am going to go to the Ruth Chandler Williamson ceramic show👍🏽
Janice, I went to the opening night a few years ago when they showed their permanent collection. I met up with a few friends from AMOCA, but I was overwhelmed with so many people and artists there. I am looking forward to seeing who's work is showcased this year.
Hello Artist Pauline!
Thinking about how your morning pages and dreams are influenced by what you do before bed the night before is really interesting. My 20s and 30s and a lot of my teens I journaled my dreams almost daily and sometimes it could take me two or three hours to write out the whole dream because by then I remembered so many details of it. Later in my 30s when I went to college and in my 40s, I was too busy raising my son and working and going to school to be able to give attention to my dreams at all.
Definitely this is a practice. I’m wanting to revisit and I seem to recall from books I’ve read in the past on “lucid dreaming” that setting your intentions and having a notebook out that you can reach for before you even get out of bed is a good practice.
Sleep hygiene requires that I use my bed only for sleep or marital type intimacy. But journaling my dreams is such a great process to understand how my conscious mind interfaces with my unconscious and also my spirit that it’s a good practice. Plus, it gives me plenty of water or fuel or details to include in poetry or other art that I’m making because I tend to draw from my dreams more when I remember them.
I like that you’re thinking about not rushing through things because mindfulness and observation are important aspects of our creativity . Relaxing genuinely matters.
Thank you for sharing and participating in this with us all !
I have tried writing down my dreams for a short while when I was younger. I must have thought that was novel but didn't see the point of it and quickly abandoned it. It's hard writing down dreams when the body is ready to warm up and get going. I do cherish the time between waking and rising, I often have ideas popped up in that space.
Thanks for sharing!
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2025/02/09/journal-diary-centenarian-north-dakota-100/
Thank you for sharing.
whether imposed from within or without
Art and love, embracing by letting go. Feeling, not dissecting and analysis.
Wonderful Forager Fridays, thank you!
I did the MPs every day (Tom, having an accountability partner helps! And I appreciate your comment about how the structure is beneficial to you, too.). Did many of the exercises but fewer of the tasks. I know that a creative block I have is to keep “doing things”, there are always tasks/chores etc., and I know I need a structure to help support a consistent artistic routine/endeavor each week. I blame myself for staying blocked.
Art to me is a journey into the unknown which opens the way to a new truth about ourselves and our perception of the world.
My artist date was spending time on the couch with a bunch of children’s books, savoring the imagery and sweet prose and the messages sent. A welcome sojourn away from the crazy state of our current world. Went to the library and put some holds on book for next week’s artist date, exploring photography after a long hiatus. Hope the books come in soon!
It was interesting that I ran into a person in my neighborhood on a walk yesterday, when I did not take my usual route, and he is the inspiration for a book I’m trying to develop, and I haven’t seen him in months…made me think about blocking out the structure of the book…
Running into that person sounds like an amazing moment of synchronicity!
That’s an interesting synchronicity that you ran into that person your muse and I think it would be an interesting exercise to indeed sketch out your ideas.
Love love love this: “Art to me is a journey into the unknown which opens the way to a new truth about ourselves and our perception of the world.”
Children’s books are so wonderful and inspiring! Maurice Sendak was one of my favorite authors, and Jane Yolen. Curious about your faves? If you have time to share.
Hard week. My bestie hospitalized again. Partner out of town, just behind on everything. I don't love how the author of the book suggests you're just making excuses if you don't do the program fully. It feels really privileged. Not all of us have backup and support that allows us to drop things to put ourselves first.
I read the chapter but didn't get to the questions or tasks. I think i did morning pages once? I went on a solo walk in a new neighborhood, though not for an hour, but not any of the exciting artist dates I've dreamed up. I'll try to catch up next week.
Art, to me, is a way to see and express in novel ways.
Love to all ~
And love back at you, Deborah. I agree that we’re not all in perfect places to devote our full attention to this and I think it’s perfectly OK for us to just show up when we can and when we do to really authentically show up.
I’m retired and I don’t have time to do everything . 😉.
The important message to take away is self love and that as long as we go around being the best we can be that’s fabulous ❤️🩹❤️🩹
I like that Janice. When we are able to show up, be present in authenticity for yourself. If you can’t show up for 100% it’s still really good to show up for 30% or whatever you can muster. It builds continuation of intent, if nothing else. It maintains a continuum of intent to access creative flow.
Thank you, Janice. 🥹
+1 to everything Janice said. We all do our best in the circumstances we find ourselves. Be kind to yourself, well wishes to your friend, and loving support.
Hi Deborah, I’m so sorry to hear about your friend’s illness. I hope they get better soon.
I think things were very different when that book was written. Our lifestyle and society and culture were different - it was more analog and we were less generally obsessed with our cell phone familiars.
Yes, julia definitely approaches creativity as a discipline almost like a monk would, a an initiate into a religious order. I enjoy that kind of commitment and intensity when I can participate fully but full steam is not for everyone especially right now when our world needs a lot of our attention genuinely.
I think like anything you get out as much as you can put in . If you can do more, you get more out of it but only if you’re able to make it more of a priority and our world is in a momentary state of chaos that definitely requires that we make choices about how we spend our time. Taken care of yourself and your friend and your family is definitely a higher priority right now and that’s a good thing. It’s good to know what your priorities are.
AW CHECK IN & response to Michelle Dowd’s post:
I love this poem, Michelle, and I love that children’s book and I can relate in my own way. Thank you for sharing your experiences thoughts emotions and journey and wisdom. Thank you for teaching and nurturing and guiding me/us through the Artists Way course & practice. And just as a human being. Thank you for being and continuing.
Another (adopted) writer, scholar, friend, and wise woman, Jennifer Jaffe, and I have come to understand through the years of our friendship that as women, we mother one another.
I love Ad Reinhardt’s Abstract Painting, No. 34, a “color field” painting- it reminds me of the James Webb Space Telescope images of our universe and all the galaxies in every direction. What freedom! To see the night sky and wonder what my ancestors wondered, marvel at the majesty of the music of the spheres. Inner worlds & outer worlds. Not only to be curious about my personal ancestors but the ancestors of the peoples that were born and grew on this land for 10,000 years or more. We all share ancestry, the whole human family. I read in the 2000s that scientists had genetically traced human ancestors to a group of about 36 women. I wonder what we’ve learned since then.
AW Check In:
Did pages all but 1 day this week. One or 2 days it took me all day, but, worth it even so. Texted with my accountability buddy (Alexis) a few times, which makes it more fun because it’s a shared interest and practice.
My artists date was to attend a protest at the California State Capitol. I had a huge awesome experience of synchronicity in the process of accomplishing my Artists date. In a happy accident I was confused about the day and went on Tuesday to a protest that was scheduled for Wednesday. After figuring out that there was no one at the west steps of the capital I wandered around my old neighborhood where I lived for many years and visited a favorite corner store owned by the same family for many decades, where I used to buy snacks and drinks.
I visited the building I used to live in when I had a miraculous experience in 1993 (I was 20 then, it was early May) of being filled with & transformed by God‘s absolute compassion and love for about 40 minutes as I prayed to be healed from child abuse and for all humanity to be healed from child abuse.
I actually got up the courage to leave a message for the person who lives in that apartment now and give them my number and ask if I could come take some reference photos for art or films that I want to make relating to that bathtub where I had such a beautiful experience of completion and joy. I think I will write them a letter and maybe send them some of my writing or poetry and invite them to explore some of the links of my art that I have up so they know that I’m serious and I’m not just some weirdo who wants to go through their apartment and take pictures.
As I started back towards my car, I passed by an old café (now closed) where I used to put on events and perform with friends and fellow creatives, feeling a bit melancholic and nostalgic. The aroma of freshly roasted coffee met me on the sidewalk and seduced me with its subtle wholesomeness into a brand new café, nextdoor to the old, called Anchor & Tree.
I have not been a habitual coffee drinker in many years. But I love coffee. As I explored the really beautiful art and the gorgeous custom woman-crafted reclaimed wood furniture and purchased hot sauce for my son, and a sticker made of very thin wood that has flowers printed or lasered into it, I got to know the gal behind the register a little. In the process of handing her my card I ended up chatting also with a man who turned out to be the co-owner. He noticed that my card said that I was an artist and had my website. By the time I came out of the restroom he had looked at my work and he offered me a show for April. This will be my second solo show. We confirmed it on the phone later in the afternoon and I am so excited and it was so unexpected. The clear commitment of the owners, a gay couple, to creating something really beautiful and open and free and inclusive and healthy was so clear in the energy of the place and the people there.
I bought a small package of their custom roasted instant coffee. I’ve been sipping it all week and it is the best thing I have ever tasted. There’s not a hint of bitterness in it. It needs no milk or sugar. The flavor and texture are exquisitely well-rounded. I later learned that the roasting machine is a cutting-edge environmentally sound and eco-friendly creature.
On Wednesday, I actually did make it to the protest and I did all the good protestor stuff: I put my phone on airplane mode and wore a mask and a hoodie and comfortable walking shoes and brought a bottled water and a protein cookie in a small backpack. it felt amazing to be in the midst of people chanting for equality & diversity & tolerance, shouting about freedom and justice and the tyranny of the day. “No Nazis! No KKK! No Fascist USA!” Same song every decade but I wouldn’t want to live in a world where I couldn’t shop those things at the top of my lungs with a group of like-minded individuals.
I think I’m a little behind in the reading. Which chapter are we reading today for the coming week? I was ahead, now I’m a little behind.
What an amazing week. I woke up a few times feeling validated and empowered and supported and strengthened, especially by older women who are activists who just hold this amazing space for all of us to be mothers and warriors and everything in between that life requires of us or that we have the opportunity to explore of our own volition.
Every time my pen touches the paper, I feel a connection to something ineffable, vital, sacred, and important and I can’t explain it and I don’t know exactly what it is, but I know I can only get there through the written word. I think it may be my future self. A more self-actualized person that I am in the process of becoming.
I will probably be able to approach some of the tasks more this week as I catch up on the reading.
I look forward to reading everyone else’s posts and our resultant conversations.
Thank you, Michelle for creating the space for us and thank you to everybody for sharing this practice space with me. 🙏🏼
"Every time my pen touches the paper, I feel a connection to something ineffable, vital, sacred, and important and I can’t explain it and I don’t know exactly what it is, but I know I can only get there through the written word. I think it may be my future self."
This is a beautiful passage and it fits with the description that I often use for where I am, "on a journey, purpose and destination unknown."
Keely, thank you for sharing your words, and huge congratulations on the show in April. Would love to know more details as it would give me another excuse to find my way to Sacramento.
Sure! Thank you, Tom. Let’s message at some point! :)
Michelle beautiful post as always, and I loved* your poem "This is Not a Metaphor." *Loved does not feel like the right word, but it was the simplest. The poem is vulnerable but powerful, vivid but stark, and beautiful yet poignant.
Artist Way Check In:
(1) Managed to complete MP everyday, but today's where more like mid afternoon. For some reason my posture for some of the days seemed to tired my arm out more. It was particularly helpful to have an accountability partner. Thank you Kathleen!
(2) For my artist date, I went to the public library in my home town, and signed up for my first library card in probably 30 years. I did not check anything out (as I have 20+ books to be read already), but I sat down and for an hour read through a book on how to take better pictures focusing (no pun intended) on the art of composition and some technical aspects.
(3) I read the chapter and had intentions of completing some tasks, but ultimately did not get around to them. I may have to take myself out on a date just to complete some of the tasks. :)
(4) I have not found a particular space for artistic solitude, but I have some spaces where I go to watch sunsets or sunrises that allow me some of that solitude.
(5) This feels like the deepest question and one to which 18 months ago, I probably would have given an anodyne answer to. Of course as I start to write a less anodyne response, I find myself stumbling over the words. I think art is an evocative expression that connects people to themselves, others, and potentially the artist themselves. Art expresses the full range of human emotion and if we see or listen with genuine curiosity we can find ourselves touched and/or deeply challenged. Yet, art is ultimately a deeply personal expression of the artists, and when we are vulnerable enough to be uncool and share our deepest art, it can become great art.
I love that you got a library card for the first time in 30 years. A couple of weeks ago I got one for the first time in a bunch of years as well but I have yet to use it. I’ll let you know when I do.
Consider exploring the app Libby, which you can use your library card with to check out e-books or audiobooks for free using your library card.
I think it’s particularly true that when we make art and tap into vulnerable elements that may even need to be protected from the idea of “cool “ this can be deeply authentic and satisfying to both share and receive because they validate our shared humanity, which is mostly not cool because it’s either survival stuff or dysfunction as we learn and grow and make errors and mistakes in our lives and try to improve on the lot that we were given. Life is a messy process when we’re realistic with ourselves. I like the idea that Art is out of control and has a life of its own and the sense of where that flow can take us within ourselves and into our world and new understanding of our world and experience. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you Keely. I will check out (no pun intended) Libby.
I do love the idea of being authentically uncool, but I also have to admit that in this regard I am very much influenced by this scene in Almost Famous: https://youtu.be/WzY2pWrXB_0?si=aKH1pkFRST2PZlM3
Great scene! 🎬 funny, what he says about good looking people basically not having enough challenges in life to develop their personality or art as much as the un.
This is a story about a woman who has journaled every day for 90 years. She received her first diary when she was ten.