After the fire, I hiked up a mountain where I am breaking ground this week on the tiny, tiny, tiny cottage I’m featuring here on Substack. I measured out an 8 x 12 space, put in tent stakes and strung a pink string, so I could mark the exact spot before clearing.
I wanted to tell my mom about this space, because she would like it.
We used to clean horse stables together, my mom and I, and we would care for the horses when the owners were out of town. Even when the doctor said I wasn’t allowed to be around large animals because of my low platelets, she would let me clean out the horses’ hooves and brush them and sometimes ride them all the way back to our own mountain.
I am not on that mountain now, but she would like this one, as well.
After any sort of fall, or injury, or life disappointment, she would say, to anyone who would listen, “Get right back on that horse.”
I don’t have a horse.
So I hugged a tree.
Then I hugged my sweet Lola, who is almost 14 years old.
Today, I’m sharing a photos with you that show the land where I’ve chosen to build.
I purchased the windows and a door. We’ve begun to clear a path. The next step is laying a foundation.
When it comes down to it, everything rests on the foundation. And the real foundation is the earth.
The knobcone is a small pine tree, 10 to 30 feet tall, with yellow-green needles in groups of threes. It grows in the poorest of soils, up to 7,000 feet elevation, and reseeds only after a fire.
Knobcone bark and needles are tough and fibrous and hard to digest, and its cones are hard to access, staying tightly closed until they reach a temperature of about 400 degrees Fahrenheit, at which point the sap in the cones begins to loosen and they release their stored seeds.
Harvesting seeds from a knobcone takes more knowledge and skill than from any other pine tree, especially if you have no tools to work with. You won’t be able to extract them without extreme heat.
~ Forager: Field Notes for Surviving a Family Cult
I’d love to hear about your experience with life after fire, how you’ve healed, and/or how wildness changed you.
How do you recover after a fire?
How do you get back on your horse?
If you’d like me to showcase a photo of one of your experiences, respond to this email with the photo and a caption (including your your name and location of the shot).
My mother taught us to use the first letters of “Survive fear, survive with faith” to remember what to prioritize, should we find ourselves lost in the wild.
• Shelter - Location, location, location. Decide where you will build your nest. Choose a flat space on high ground (a large rock or a mound of dirt, where you can remove roots and debris), away from well-used animal trails, leaning trees, and snow or rockfall areas. A good shelter in a bad location is a bad shelter.
• Fire - A fire can prevent you from freezing or keep you warm enough to do the other tasks you’ll need to ensure your protection. Cooking can increase the range of food you can consume, keep away bugs and wild animals, and improve your overall sense of security. Consider site selection and site preparation away from your shelter. Without matches, your setup will be crucial. Before you attempt to start your fire, collect ample tinder, kindling, fuel.
• Signaling - Ask yourself: Who knows I am missing? Is anyone looking for me? When is the earliest possible moment a search could begin? Do I want to be found? If you want to be found, signal early and often. If the landscape on which you are stranded is dark, collect light rocks. If it’s light, collect dark rocks. Find a clearing and spell out SOS. Make three small fire pits, designed for maximum smoke. If you hear a plane, you will rush to light them. If there is no clearing, use the brightest color fabric you have (tear it from your clothing, if that’s your only option), and tie three flags to the highest tree you can climb.
• Water - Dehydration will directly affect your ability to make logical decisions. Once you have built your shelter, home in on your water system. Water is the earth’s blood, giving life to all the world’s beings. Honor it. The blood in our veins, the sap in the trees, and the water of rivers and streams are united in shared sisterhood. If there is no running water, use a jacket or anything you may have that resembles plastic to build an evaporation net. Find a sunny spot near vegetation to dig a hole as wide as your plastic. Place a cup or anything you can improvise as a container inside the hole, and then cover your hole with the flat plastic, securing it around the perimeter with rocks. You will also need to place a rock on the center of the plastic, directly over the container. Condensation will collect in your container overnight, yielding up to a quart of water a day.
• Food - If it could take more than a couple of weeks for someone to find you, or if you are running from something and want to remain hidden, you will need to sustain your energy with food. Depending on the sea- son during which you are stranded, this may be simple or it may be difficult.
~Forager: Field Notes for Surviving a Family Cult
Thank you for reading Forager Fridays — your support allows me to keep doing this work. All paid subscribers will receive a Zoom link to our co-writing workshops which take place on the last Saturday of each month at 1:00 PT/4:00 ET.
I will send the link for September 28 in next week’s email.
If you’re not in a position to pay, the referral option gives you the same benefits as paid subscribers. Use the referral link below, or the “Share” button on any post to earn credit for new subscribers. Send the link in a text, email, or share it on social media with friends.
Thank you for being on this journey with me. I am grateful for the gift of your presence. Walking this path, knowing so many of you are walking it too, gives me hope. May we recognize our interbeing, with one another and the anima mundi, supporting each other in growth and recovery, like a mycelial network. If you’d like to continue this conversation in person, consider enrolling in my small group writing workshop at the Maloof this October. There are two spots left.
How do I get "back on my horse?" Keeping the focus on re-building the foundation, one step at a time. Just as you are now by staking out your future home.
I'm supporting a family member who lost everything in what seems like his life going up in flames. His experience is pushing me tap into how I built back from the ground up about 6 years ago. A step per day to build a foundation, stronger than before, maybe with a different view from a different mountain. From there, you start seeing what to build back next.
Thank you so much for the photos