This is a beautiful post. I especially loved reading the survival tips, they had me away in a wilderness for the duration, maybe with no more modern comfort than an abandoned old run-down shack. Then, dreaming of the story I might write about this. Or what stories might come to me in such seclusion.
On instincts, I did have a life-altering realisation about them recently, where I finally understood that whether you think a feeling is based on instinct or faulty programming, it should be honoured either way, because it may be true, innate instinct, so you would be betraying yourself to ignore it, and if it is instead a product of trauma, family dysfunction, or something similar, it exists because you have not yet recovered, so to push through and ignore it in this case, too, would be damaging. Your body is telling you that you are not yet ready, there is more work to do. And I believe the greatest work we can do for ourselves is learning to love ourselves properly, and this is not possible when we continually override our feelings instead of honouring them. Life has been dramatically more peaceful for me since coming to this realisation.
Thank you for sharing this, Martina. Yes, ignoring our instincts is a form of self-betrayal, while we often think that ignoring or repressing can protect us. I'm so happy to hear you're on the road to self-love. I hope we will meet on the road. You and me and all of us who are doing this work.
We Americans cherish the idea of wild nature. We cherish it so much that we create carefully controlled wild spaces in which we can safely experience the wild. Many never see the humor in that construct.
We are first owned by our families, and siblings start with the same value systems and reference points. But leaving them behind (in outlook or in reality) and stepping into the wilderness is so much more rewarding when your inner self needs truth and freedom more than conformity and comfort. It’s then that you see the past without living the present through it.
Most of the time, I feel the wildness has been tamed out of me. But, I choose to live in a wild place where bears roam through my yard at night. I’ve recently started tracking the birds I see on an app that also allows me to identify them by their call, not just what they look like. It’s opened up a whole new way for me to connect with nature, noticing it through all my senses.
Thank you! Beautiful and powerful as always! The paragraphs below really resonated with me as I move through life’s transitions. Trying to find moments of joy, wild exuberance, and genuine connection. Exploring and maybe redefining what it means to be a father, a friend, a son.
“If we internalize the instructions and systems of others, how do we know where they end and we begin? Are we living our lives off someone else’s script? And if so, who do you ask for permission to speak off script, to re-define the role of partner, parent, or employee?
…When you imagine living a more wild life, you might fear losing safety, security, or control. You might fear being different from other people, or fear losing your boundaries, or fear the unknown. “
Yes - I have well and truly been owned. It took the lockdown to jolt me out of the false matrix. So many layers have been stripped down, and many more still to discard.
Security, compliance, convenience kicked to the curb. I live out of two suitcases. Not sorry. Focused on the pleasure of walking in the rain, smelling the blossoms. enjoying the wrath of lightning and thunder, listening to my body - all sorts of things I was too busy to appreciate - living someone elses script.
In the meantime I have followed the broken money, the political/judicial corruption, the media bs, in order to understand the enemy. Believe me - its like standing on the edge of a snake pit.
Now l work with the broken minded, the fearful, the unwoke - not trying to change them - just simply sharing their reality and enabling hope.
Your substack is important Michelle - your insight from your life experiences gives me strength. A smile, a cup of tea, a listening ear - are my tools of comfort - and you helped me make that decision on my own journey. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your powerful story, Christine. Two suitcases. That's freedom. And dare I say, wildness? To trust you have what you need. I look forward to hearing more of your story.
Thank you for the way you live artfully.
I love that y’all represent that!
This is a beautiful post. I especially loved reading the survival tips, they had me away in a wilderness for the duration, maybe with no more modern comfort than an abandoned old run-down shack. Then, dreaming of the story I might write about this. Or what stories might come to me in such seclusion.
On instincts, I did have a life-altering realisation about them recently, where I finally understood that whether you think a feeling is based on instinct or faulty programming, it should be honoured either way, because it may be true, innate instinct, so you would be betraying yourself to ignore it, and if it is instead a product of trauma, family dysfunction, or something similar, it exists because you have not yet recovered, so to push through and ignore it in this case, too, would be damaging. Your body is telling you that you are not yet ready, there is more work to do. And I believe the greatest work we can do for ourselves is learning to love ourselves properly, and this is not possible when we continually override our feelings instead of honouring them. Life has been dramatically more peaceful for me since coming to this realisation.
Thank you for sharing this, Martina. Yes, ignoring our instincts is a form of self-betrayal, while we often think that ignoring or repressing can protect us. I'm so happy to hear you're on the road to self-love. I hope we will meet on the road. You and me and all of us who are doing this work.
We Americans cherish the idea of wild nature. We cherish it so much that we create carefully controlled wild spaces in which we can safely experience the wild. Many never see the humor in that construct.
We are first owned by our families, and siblings start with the same value systems and reference points. But leaving them behind (in outlook or in reality) and stepping into the wilderness is so much more rewarding when your inner self needs truth and freedom more than conformity and comfort. It’s then that you see the past without living the present through it.
I see the humor! :) And yes, when we control the wilderness out there, usually we're also trying to control the wild(er)ness inside us.
Most of the time, I feel the wildness has been tamed out of me. But, I choose to live in a wild place where bears roam through my yard at night. I’ve recently started tracking the birds I see on an app that also allows me to identify them by their call, not just what they look like. It’s opened up a whole new way for me to connect with nature, noticing it through all my senses.
Thank you! Beautiful and powerful as always! The paragraphs below really resonated with me as I move through life’s transitions. Trying to find moments of joy, wild exuberance, and genuine connection. Exploring and maybe redefining what it means to be a father, a friend, a son.
“If we internalize the instructions and systems of others, how do we know where they end and we begin? Are we living our lives off someone else’s script? And if so, who do you ask for permission to speak off script, to re-define the role of partner, parent, or employee?
…When you imagine living a more wild life, you might fear losing safety, security, or control. You might fear being different from other people, or fear losing your boundaries, or fear the unknown. “
Sometimes I feel I have to write myself a permission slip to ask for what I want, or pursue what I want. Always good to hear your perspective!
Yes - I have well and truly been owned. It took the lockdown to jolt me out of the false matrix. So many layers have been stripped down, and many more still to discard.
Security, compliance, convenience kicked to the curb. I live out of two suitcases. Not sorry. Focused on the pleasure of walking in the rain, smelling the blossoms. enjoying the wrath of lightning and thunder, listening to my body - all sorts of things I was too busy to appreciate - living someone elses script.
In the meantime I have followed the broken money, the political/judicial corruption, the media bs, in order to understand the enemy. Believe me - its like standing on the edge of a snake pit.
Now l work with the broken minded, the fearful, the unwoke - not trying to change them - just simply sharing their reality and enabling hope.
Your substack is important Michelle - your insight from your life experiences gives me strength. A smile, a cup of tea, a listening ear - are my tools of comfort - and you helped me make that decision on my own journey. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your powerful story, Christine. Two suitcases. That's freedom. And dare I say, wildness? To trust you have what you need. I look forward to hearing more of your story.
Its thanks to you Michelle. Your thoughts /ideas helps me mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
I put you among the many books I have studied. The Bible - favourite verse - King Solomon - Ecclesiastus Ch 3.
Sun Tsu - The Art of War. George Orwell - Animal Farm and 1984, Ayn Rand - Atlas Shrugged, Eckhart Tolle - The Power of Now, Lyn Alden - Broken Money.
Bats are awesome!! Thank you for this.
My mom loved bats too.