Michelle - Thank you for this work. When I read it, I was struck by the reminder that as children we are introduced to complex stories that we only unpack with adults. Sometimes the nuance can change the whole story itself. You do such a lovely job of hinting at the tension of that complexity, your shifting understanding and the mixed emotion it leaves you with.
Regarding the AW:
1)I did the MP every day. I find this to be a lovely part of the day. I look forward to it. However, I was aware that more doubt and insecurities flowed through on the page today.
2) For the Artist Date, I did something similar to last week, but with a little twist. I had such a fun time looking through old photos, that I picked my favorite three of my grandmother, and I just wrote about what I saw. I tried to imagine what she was thinking, who was behind the lens, where she was, what stage of life she was in, and what happened around her. It was a different way to see her, and I had fun just imagining. I did this while eating at a yummy lunch.
3) I wrote down 20 things I enjoy. These types of activities frustrate me because so many of the things that I enjoy that I am not already doing cost money, which is a limiting factor. That just makes me grumpy.
4) I found a lovely affirmation this week from the Natasha Bedingfield song Unwritten, "No one else can speak the words on your lips." I wrote this affirmation at the top of each of my MP, and it directly relates to some of my insecurities: that I don't have anything that interesting to say.
5) Many people contribute to my capacity delight, from my family to my dogs to the neighbor boy I see running EVERYWHERE he goes (he does not walk, and it brings me joy to see). If I let myself, I can find delight many places.
Bree, I agree with money being a limiting factor in our enjoyment. I started doing one of the things I deem 'too costly' just one time a month and then take it from there. So, for instance I wanted to indoor climb so bad, I found a coupon on Groupon and said let's just do this. I ended up trading my gym membership for a climbing membership, it's overall cheaper AND I use it all the time where I didn't with the gym membership.
I also love your artist's date. Fantastic way to be creative, spend your time, and honor your grandmother.
I think I might steal your artist idea this week! I have never tried to write in public, but maybe this is a good time to try. I feel like the MP are getting harder, and I am finding myself taking longer to complete them.
Thank you for sharing. I’m thinking of a terra Brock meditation that I listened to where she talked about the importance of being with your emotions in each moment even when they’re uncomfortable and I think morning pages is like that. It’s a way to be present for ourselves, especially when we feel insecure or like what we have to say might not have value to others like it does to us. (I wonder if someone invalidated your voice at some point? Sensing a wound.) Writing for yourself and writing for an audience are two different things or if you write letters to old friends or letters to your higher power or letters to your enemies or your old lovers. Write a lot of letters to God, especially when I’m lonely and vexed and feel powerless. Just know that every single writer sometimes feels the same feelings and the difference is that a person dedicated to their creative path and to cultivating their creativity will continue to write even as you experience those feelings. it is hard sometimes but that’s how you know it’s important because it’s always hardest before the breakthrough. You have to recognize crises or potential crises to find solutions or prevent problems. You’re doing a good job. I huff and puff through my walk-runs if I’m not doing them regularly but I know the more I practice, the less uncomfortable my body will generally feel.
I love the family photos date, again with the grandmothers! I feel my grandparents with me every day and often imagine visits with their pictures, sometimes I dream about them. I want to remember my dreams more, I’m trying to incorporate recording them in my morning pages, I get insight when I make it part of my daily practice. It’s good fodder for MPs too.
Definitely with you on the limited budget concern. Sometimes if it’s important to me I put the word out on social media and among friends and community that I’d like to go horseback riding, for instance, and sometimes people know people with horses or whatever and I get to have an experience I can’t otherwise afford. I think Amanda Palmer wrote a book called Ask For What You Want (I think, or similar) and has made an interesting practice of the principle to build community over the last 2-3 decades especially among women.
I love the “ No one else…” quote; so apropos here, thanks again. I believe the whole human family is like a big puzzle and every unique piece has its place and every voice is truly equally valuable even if we don’t understand the details of how or why at some given point. I can’t count the times people in my life that are deemed less valuable or less fancy or less talented or less wealthy or less famous by the world have spoken words to me personally that have freed me from suffering and awful emotional and psychological burdens. The kindness I’ve been shown by decent people in private has been like god talking me through my challenges, carrying me through. Nothing could ever replace the most precious every day casual ordinary voices of my loved ones, my son and sisters, my mom.
What if your voice was TOO POWERFUL? What might that sound like? What would a powerful or so-called “too powerful” or too meaningful voice say?
1) Morning Pages: I wrote all 7 days, but one was late evening and another barely squeaked in before noon, seconds to spare. That’s an improvement over last week. The MPs were a little less invigorating some days this week than last. The most fun was pouring childhood friendship memories onto paper the date of my longest term friend’s birthday. Another observation: Morning pages are raising and shaping Artist Date plans.
2) Artist Date for Week 2: Had to be flexible; I was ready, but materials for that date were not, so it’s rescheduled for next week. Instead I spent the date time getting reacquainted with my sewing machine. Been hoping to do that for that… for years! This was the perfect excuse…I felt empowered just dabbling with minor mending and making sure I remembered what to do - or that the machine remembered what to do if I forgot. It’s older than I am and apparently also a more steady, forgiving workhorse than I.
3) I did a few Week 2 tasks. Task #2: Major activities and the time they consume - Significant Revelation: regardless what else is going on, the largest portion of every day is spent trying to stay warm (What a time and energy sink!). Task #3: It was difficult to list 20 enjoyable things when I was tired and grumpy, but hard to stop with 20 at a cheerier time. Task #6 Other lives: one was being a more fit and agile person. That lead to Task #8 - Ten Tiny Changes, including to locate a whole body exercise class that I’d enjoy (since the dopy gym on the next block hasn’t offered anything I enjoy in too long). While looking for other gym options (Tasks 9), I was surprised to have a real live VISUALIZE IT AND IT WILL HAPPEN experience! The local dopy gym had added an excellent - although poorly advertised - class 4 days a week and it was starting in 45 minutes! Task 10: I made it to the exercise class, will go back, and won’t be canceling my membership after all. Will now try visualizing beneficial outcomes to additional tiny changes.
Oh, forgot to answer check-in Question 4 - WHO contributes to my capacity for delight? I’d say for the most part this is me. My capacity for delight is magnified by sleeping enough, eating right, practicing good time management, and related functions that we each need to take at least some responsibility for in our own lives. Further contributors are the people support my efforts in these areas. Additional credit to people who pass by at the right place and time bearing something that stimulates curiosity and who are willing to share their own glee equally.
Whitney - This sounds like a highly productive week! Also, I would agree that mood can greatly impact how I approach many tasks, including my capacity for delight.
So, Pauline, have you done anything to spend less time trying to stay warm? After identifying my
Need, I started wearing a knit cap indoors as well as out and doubled the thickness of the indoor jacket. It’s helped, as have hot beverages and keeping moving. I could use more techniques to stay warm while sitting still for a spell.
I have always wanted to learn how to use a sewing machine. My grandmother was so good at sewing by hand. I wish I had asked her to teach me. My sewing now just gets me by. What a great happening that you found a class you went to and enjoyed. I just signed up for hula classes two days a week. I'm also looking to get back into exercising as I really haven't been as active as I should. But this time, I am only picking something I absolutely enjoy. I've struggled with being too hard on myself at the gym, and I no longer want that for myself.
Hi Whitney, thank you for sharing your experiences with AW this week. I am curious all week how it’s going for everyone else and have been looking forward to reading the responses.
I love savoring the sweeter moments of my childhood on paper especially - our capacity for bliss as kids is so pure. I love to embellish my memories with fantastic and magical elements that reveal my inner world. Friendship is sweetest in childhood sometimes! We’ve got to treasure all the blessings, experiences and relationships we can. Truly a happy life is built on such things. And sewing machines! Good job even getting to mending- I’ve been neglecting a couple items myself and buy fabric for projects I’ve yet to complete. I think you’ve inspired me to give myself a sewing date too sometime soon! I wish I was better at it. But instead I shop too much lol. Ok jk. Ok good job connecting with the new class, right on. You’re really moving some energy around in your life and it’s only the end of week 2! Good on you.
The sewing machine time was a delightful artists date, now I’m thinking there might be an online sewing class that would help add structure to my need to improve a little (demystify tensioning equipment). It’s been interesting to see how you embrace the artists way experience!
I've been light on tasks from the book but excited and productive about tasks of my own design. I've always wanted to be more of a minimalist. What do I mean by "more" of a minimalist because I'm not much of one now? However, I've always wanted to be a solid, committed minimalist. I yearn to channel Marie Kondo and want to coordinate what I've learned from her with what I'm tiptoeing around now: "The Art of Swedish Death Cleaning."
My artist's date was tea with a dear Pilgrim Place buddy who, at age 87, is 11 years my senior. I hadn't seen her since before Christmas, and we had lots to share and ask. She served a tea that bloomed into a flower in her clear glass pot, and we poured and poured without one drip.
One topic that arose was that she needs some wardrobe infusions for a granddaughter's wedding later this spring, a bush plane flight beyond Anchorage, where she will likely need long silk underwear even on warm days. I've just packed two bags of things for her perusal, and I'm thrilled to see the bottom of several of my drawers, having given her a number of my formerly favorite drawers.
A bonus: she invited me to join her and other Pilgrims tomorrow at the corner of Indian Hill and Foothill in Claremont to hang out with the locals for our version of the Women's March. We plan to be there from 1:15-2:15 p.m., and Indivisible members are coming at 2 p.m. to continue presence into the afternoon. My sign will be vertical, attached to my yardstick: "Our Bodies are None of your Business" on one side and "I am a TRANS ALLY" on the other side. Invitation to join us. Park in the US Bank lot on the NE corner.
The tea with your friend sounds lovely! I’ve yearned to be a minimalist but an adapted minimalist. So I like a pretty natural but minimalist aesthetic generally. I have too many books, though, always.
Thank you for sharing this practice and endeavor and your experience with it! Thank you for protesting in the streets for our human rights and dignity!
So grateful Leonard Peltier has been freed, his sentence commuted by Biden. Truly grateful.
My first week was full of energy and curiosity. I noticed I didn't write what I thought I would write, my chattering mind. This past week getting up early to write was hard. It felt so much like a chore, and needs to get done in a timely fashion. A few mornings, I was a zombie but strangely could still write! These past few days, I noticed I wrote a bit about my dreams and lingering thoughts.
One morning I "let" my left hand write a few lines. Left hand has its own mind. The 2nd time I realized that as much as it might seem fun, left hand is damming up the brain drain. Now, left hand writes the date and time on top of the page and finishing time at bottom.
Affirmation--
I picked 3 affirmations from the list and did write them 5X after the morning pages. I thought I was getting faster on morning pages, and now, affirmation added back time and right hand got tired. So right hand writes 3X, left hand 2X. Somedays this feels tedious and tiring, but I still feel the genuine intention and direction, and find them comforting.
Tasks--
I wrote down 20 things I enjoy doing.
After reading the crazymakers, I spin out a few pages of storms. It's tiring.
Artist Date--
The first full moon of this year was on Monday. I checked the time for dawn on Tuesday so I could still see the full moon. Out of my front door, I would walk uphill and see the moon. I got up earlier that morning, finished morning pages, bundled up and went out for a walk under the full moon. The air was cold and dry. Our street was quiet except a couple cars starting on their driveways. I walked by a house permeating their laundry scent. Up on a cross road, city workers started to blow the leaves and debris, so I turned back with the moon behind me. Halfway downhill, I saw the sun rising! It was a delight!
I walked uphill seeing a setting full moon, and downhill a rising sun. And I thought of Tom Hill. Thank you.
I love that you played with left and right handed writing. I often suggest this to therapy clients when struggle to work something out because we can tap into different parts of our brains with different handedness. You can even have a conversation with yourself this way. Did you notice different emotive aspects to your writing as you switched? (I agree, it is too tiring and laborious for a brain drain though!)
That's interesting, writing with left hand to gain different perspectives. I just felt left hand's got its own mind, like it's talking a different tone or switching subject. My right hand got impatient and wanted to get the morning pages flowing. I even thought maybe I would take my left hand for an artist date or something, ha!
My daughter can write perfectly with both hands. I wonder if her creativity will be different depending on the hand she uses! I'll have to challenge her. She is only 7, but I think it would still be interesting. Me on the other hand, my left hand makes it look like I've escaped the asylum. hehe
Brie, yes, it's just so special looking up a full moon in a clear sky knowing my family and friends can also look up at the same moon, and that thought connects us no matter where we are.
My left hand can only scribble and I have to be patient to wait for its movement like watching a kinder learning to write. I can't quite remember how, but I might be thinking of my mom. My mother is a leftie. When she was growing up, she was taught not to use left hand to write or to hold chopsticks in public, so she writes and uses utensils with right hand. But at home she uses her dominant left hand chopping, sewing, washing, brushing, doing chores. I find using left hand amusing.
I have a friend growing up on the farm. He said when his right hand is tired from shoveling, he would just switch to the left hand and continue to shovel. The first time I wrote affirmation, my right hand got tired, so I switched to left hand.
I love the details you bundled into the description of the morning from the laundry scent, the leaf blower, and quality of the air. I felt like I was there with you.
The morning moonlight walk sounds amazing! The image of your left hand having a mind of its own and allowing it to participate in your writing made me laugh. What if it really did and you couldn’t tell it what to do. You had to coax it like a child and convince it to cooperate!
Pauline, I saw your moon too, by chance, while avoiding icy patches on the path around the snowy creek with a neighbor just before the sun rose, pink sky progressing behind, full moon behind tree branches ahead. I appreciate your up and down hill astronomy.
Pauline, Way to stick with the MP despite it feeling more challenging this week. Also, your artist date sounds lovely. Like Tom, I also loved the descriptors you offer.
Sounds like a really nice peaceful walk. One of my favorite things to do is sit on the beach at night. The sounds of the ocean makes the moon even more beautiful.
Pauline, so interesting to explore handedness. Love the observations of the moon. I hear you about crazymakers and it just never ends with some people.
I savor the beauty of the moon often, especially this most recent, glorious!
This week the morning pages flew out of me and I felt I didn’t want to stop when I hit the end of page three. Also I felt exhausted and didn’t want to get up to start them. Good lesson in pushing through and keeping my artistic commitments because I see an immediate payoff when I do the thing even if I kind of don’t want to! Also, some people I had not connected with in a while popped up in my morning pages, leading me to reach out and reconnect. So that was delightful!
How many days morning pages?
All days I wrote pages, one day it was delayed until the evening.
Artist date: I tried a new Yin Yoga class that included self foot reflexology with golf balls that had been rolled in lime and vanilla essential oils. It was slow and sensuous and relaxing. I really enjoyed how the scent of the oils made me feel like I was transported to somewhere tropical when I closed my eyes during each stretch. Somehow lifted from snowy Maine winter and nestled down gently into a white sand beach hundreds of miles away.
Tasks: I listed things I enjoy and wow, that was hard for me. I sat stumped for some time. I felt I had to come up with things that were “fun” and I judged the things that immediately came to mind as overly productive. I really sat with this one all week, after managing to come up with a smattering of ideas. What do I enjoy? Why? If I felt free to do anything at all, would I enjoy different things? I did take heart coming to a realization that writing is absolutely something I enjoy, deeply and profoundly.
Who contributes to my capacity for delight: My dog. My two kids. Just by being adorable and curious about the world and by showing me how to delight in snow and other simple pleasures of life. My husband who plans our travel, enabling me to go to new places and experience wonder. Comedic actors and podcasters, goodness I delight in people who can make me laugh! Other people’s pets and other people’s babies.
On the whole I am trying to lean into the affirmations to help me reframe the dread and anxiety I have coming up around the memoir I am writing. When I have self doubt I tell someone supportive and ask for them to help me reframe, or I write down a reframe for myself. What could also be true? What’s another way to look at this? Where is this negativity coming from? Can I set it down now?
I’d like to give your method of dealing with self doubt a try. There are many supportive people, but I fear that not everyone is the right support for individual self doubts - I might have gaps. Do you have different supportive people for different types of self-doubt?
The Yoga Class you mentioned sounds very cool. I hope you are staying warm in the cold weather too! I was stumped by the things that were fun. I got to 15, and thought, am I boring if I can't easily come up with 20 things I enjoy!? I personally think memoirs are tough. It takes a lot of self reflection that I think can be draining. Julia Cameron mentions one of her "Rules for Road" is "set small and gentle goals, and meet them." So for your memoir, "set small and gentle goals." :)
What a wonderful discovery to reaffirm your joy of writing! Why is it so hard to come up with things we enjoy? I liked your question probing that if we were free to do anything at all, would we enjoy something different.
Annelise, great effort for the commitment of getting up early to write pages. You artist date sounds wonderful, especially the essential oil golf ball reflexology.
I also spent some time coming up with 20 things. I have this one on my list: scrolling down IG watching dogs and babies videos.
1) Morning Pages - I managed to write every morning, but started a new journal book on Wednesday, and the lines are ruled more narrowly. Consequently, my hand was getting tired at the end of the three pages, and it took me longer to write.
2) Artist Date - yesterday evening I went out to the reclaimed salt ponds near my office, and restarted Spiritual Formation in the Wild (an online class that has guided outdoor activities). It was time to reflect on thresholds (how we cross from one domain to another), silence (can I hear the birdsong over the cacophony of cars and airplanes) and simply being present. A key aspect was the concept of microdosing awe; finding the amazing in the little things like a bird in the foliage or a magnificent pinecone just out of sight. It reminded me that my photography practice is all about finding beauty in the world (even if just for a moment)
3) I completed one task to list 20 things I enjoy, and when I last did them. A few observartions: First it was initially hard to get to 20, I think I got to 15 immediately and then had to stretch for the next 10 (no I did not stop at 20). Second, there were a number of things that I had not done in months and sometimes years (climbing). Lastly, I need to do the follow up exercise and figure out the next little thing I am going to do in that regard.
4) I love this last question, but I sense that my answer is incomplete. For me delight often comes in small moments (microdosing awe), and is a product of being surprised and amazed. So I have to be present, to be aware, and to be open. To not have a preconceived notion of what to expect and not to be jaded or cynical.
Fantastic!!!! I've taken the spiritual formation in the wild course, and it helped ground me in wild(er)ness, and yes, I can see how that is flourishing in your photography. I love the 20 activities task because it requires us to be honest about what really delights us. Good work, Tom!
Yes! I truly believe in micro-dosing joy. In fact, the truest joys to me come in the smallest awareness - the scent of strawberries - a thrill. Thank you for sharing this.
Silence. Oh, how I love thee. I love this idea for an Artist Date, seeking places to reflect and open up to silence and be present. I am going to think about how I want to incorporate that into a future date. Thank you for the idea.
Good job on the pages with narrow rule! I keep journals for art and writing and music (blank moleskines, 3-pk XL softcover) and for AW, I dedicated a ruled journal (set), and I’m surprised it is filling so fast.
Really cool artists date! Definitely going to look up the Spiritual Formation in the Wild thing. Seems like there could be a tie-in opportunity there for Where The Wild Things Are, but definitely I’ve been staring into all the eyes 👀 of all the wild things in my spiritual life since probably like before I was born lol. Joy, fun, and awe have similarities and differences, nuances that are neat to discern while in the experience of the moment. Love that ‘microdosing awe’… really excellent. And something that makes it worthwhile to release attachment to energies and concerns that interfere with the full experience of it. Neat to know you through this shared AW practice! Thank you for sharing your connection with & experience of nature, spirit, words, notebooks, silence and awe. I’m gonna go eat some criminis! Or baby portobellos… hmm 🤔
I did morning pages daily this week. I love/d it. I feel like my whole day is more focused. I’ve completed a couple very important tasks that I had been having difficulty prioritizing to completion prior. The writing challenges me; getting my body to get the hands on the pen and notebook and cause them to contact and to write actual words feels like I’m working through a force field, like the repellent force of a powerful set of magnets with matching poles that seek to push away from one another.
The first half of the week, I felt like there was a psychic (mental/emotional body; of the psyche, or mind) wall bisecting my torso laterally. I practiced an integration skill from my therapy skills toolbox (& Thich Naht Hanh) and tried to sit compassionately with each “side” of the wall to see from the two points of view and go back and forth between them, and wrote about this perception of this interior energy “wall.”
Second half of the week was easier. The more I write and the more focused I am on completing it (as close to morning as I can get), the more insight and inspiration I’m experiencing throughout the day. Now I have to start listening to those little ideas as they drift through my consciousness and start capturing their existence on the page especially after I’ve cleared out my creative channels with Pages.
My Artists Date/s were funny because they were not moments I would have expected to bring such joy but, the heart wants what it wants, and you can’t always find it on someone else’s idea-list (even Julia Cameron’s!)
I wanted to give myself an uninterrupted hour to listen to an audiobook- a Walter Isaacson biography. My other competing idea that made me laugh was just to program my new robot vacuum (a Christmas gift from my mother) to repeatedly to deep clean my (cumulatively overdue) kitchen and dining room linoleum. I laughed it off but really wanted to deep clean. When I lit my candles and set up my space to enjoy an audiobook, I was 10 minutes into it before I felt an agonizing and overwhelming urge to do the deep cleaning. I laughed at myself and indulged the urge to clean, spent a couple hours overseeing the robo-vac (“Crash”) and learning to program and troubleshoot it. Then watched it work, getting other areas organized while it worked.
After dinner and watching the news, I enjoyed the audiobook for two hours. I want more of both. I also decided on a list of 10 books minimum that I already own or can borrow from the library that I want to read in the next 6-12 months. Reading is an important way to refill my creative and intellectual well. Having a deeply clean, reasonably well-organized home and creative environment supports my peace and health and my sense of freedom to make new creative messes! Taking books and lectures in and doing research takes the pressure off that I put on myself to produce writing when I may be holding back to avoid being triggered by overwhelming pain and suffering about the past.
I often feel like I need to be careful with my words both publicly and privately (I’ve learned this through experience), and I need to be well-considered in what I share, which requires the restraint of a discerning and disciplined adult, and honestly a lot of my best creativity comes from these exuberant inner children. Cleaning and organizing sets the stage for me to be able to let these other voices out and to explore their perspectives from a self-compassionate viewpoint (or, the imagined viewpoint of an internalized version of a compassionate leader- I.e., the Dalai Lama, Pema Chodron, Thich Naht Hanh, Mirabai, MLK, Jr., Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, Elvis, or other artists; poets, teachers, seekers, sages, seers, healers, truth-tellers, compassionate and non-abusive revelators, kind respectful loving believing and accepting moms, creatures, creators, shamans, yogis, kind respectful loving accountable dads, faith servant-leaders who support agency / free will / recovery from abuse; abolitionists, total anarchists, nature spirits, fellow sinners, anti-fascists, wise survivors, and other terrorists.) So cleaning is creating space. And destroying germs and too-much-chaos. And reading or listening to gain in-depth understanding is delicious. And being able to hear myself think in a clean house.
I haven’t yet done the tasks but I intend to do at least the ones involving making pie graphs and such, these seem useful. I caught myself in conversation recently blaming my mom and older sister for my own creative blocks and frustration (what?! who, me?! *perfectly imperfect* 😬) and this chapter reminds me not to make excuses about being blocked if I’m not practicing the processes of unblocking myself. It’s just like adding chia to my morning yogurt since I was 48 or 50, it’s just good for your healthy energy flow. No one else can do your workout and get internally and externally fit for you. It cleans stale energy out my chi! :) About the object lessons via pie graphs, prioritizing the needs and wants of my inner artist is challenging but the practices lead to art-making that satisfies and validates my existence like no other. It frees me to self-actualize and transcend the limitations I’ve internalized in the past.
My adult son (Seth, 26) contributes to my capacity for delight more than anyone because he’s also an artist and musician, and my late sister’s spirit, who was/is my collaborator and best friend, too. Everyone who loves and does or has done artists way and found it as empowering and transformative as I did/do. Mother Earth contributes the most to my capacity for delight because she gives me everything I am and need and want; I derive life and breath and nourishment from her every moment. I could not exist without her gravity and the grace of her coexistence with other heavenly bodies and forces. I yearn for our human family to hearken to indigenous voices that understand the symbiotic and reciprocal nature of our relationship with the earth as her custodians for time immemorial. I am also endlessly comforted, made curious and entertained by artists and entertainers of every milieu and the inexpensive easy access to great music, art, film we have at our fingertips in the modern world. Technology and innovation contribute to my capacity for delight. I get so excited to learn about new discoveries and inventions.
FYI- it might take until Monday for me to read & respond to others’ posts this week but I’ll get caught up around then. Thank you for patience, dear cohort.
The Roomba idea was so funny! I know how that is though to have that one nagging task and when you finally do it, you feel so much better. A common theme in my morning pages is how much cleaning and organizing I have to do!
The listening to your inner voice/needs and making changes to what your artists date was sounds very mindful to me. That seems to be deepening that inner connection with yourself and giving room to shift. Also, I love a clean space to be able to work and live. It helps free the mind.
How many days this week did you do morning pages? How do you feel about this week compared to last week?
- This week, I gave myself permission not to do the morning pages per se, but I did continue my commitment to writing every day. This turned into a combination of a new Substack post and journal entries in reflection on some of last and this week's assignment prompts. This felt good to me, to take what I need right now from this course and take ownership of it in this way.
How about your artist date? Will you share what you chose to do?
- My plan was a solo bike ride in the beautiful sunshine, but alas, I injured my neck & shoulder and instead spent that day laying on my back packed with ice packs. This, however, gave me permission to step out of caregiving roles and indulge in reading chapter after chapter of a book on contemplative spirituality. I love to read but always put it last after responsibilities, which results that I seldom read more than a few pages unless I am on an airplane. So I got an unexpectedly cozy artist's date.
Did you do any of the tasks? If so, which ones? Any discoveries there?
- In addition to going back to complete some of the Week 1 tasks I'd missed, I did #1 (but not daily), #2 (I found myself deeply uncomfortable with the amount of time I calculated I spend reading news rather than creating, though satisfying with my other categories), #3, #4 (this list of "two favorite things you've avoided that you can do this week" including Go biking and Read stories, so you can see how that panned out for me!), #5, #7 (my pie chart ended up with a triangle inside of it, interestingly), #8, #9, & #10. I just missed #6, so maybe I'll get back to that one in the coming week.
Who contributes to your capacity for delight?
- I do! It's easy to list the people I love to be with, but I want to pause and recognize that if I depend solely on others to bring me delight, I will never find it. When I am intentional to remain mindful and grateful for the ever-present small delights all around me - like the hummingbird flitting through my orange tree as I sit in the warm sunshine - I allow myself delight. And then adding to that are my kind, thoughtful teenager, my husband, my chosen family, and my friends. And even beyond that - a kind stranger, a thoughtful book review, a small interaction with an innocent toddler in a public space. I find it's really about being open to the beauty of others, and the delight follows.
Deborah - The way you are making this course your own is inspiring. As a recovering rigid rule follower, I find your willingness to make adjustments in ways that work for your life and your needs helpful to allow myself to do the same. Thank you for opening up.
It’s curious that you indulge in reading when you’re injured. I love reading so much (despite dissociation and ADD) that I would probably injure myself to get to it which is a bad idea! In my morning pages I discovered there’s 10-12 books I really want to read this year to nurture my mind, intellect, understanding, and concentration. This means watching fewer true crime documentaries for me. Definitely more family/ drama/action films to relax and art films to enrich my visionary tapestry of muses. I love audiobooks, especially on Buddhism to listen while I walk unless I need to hear my surroundings more. (Birds and breezes? Yes. Traffic? Nah.) anyway reading counts. As a society we publish, print, promote and purchase more books than ever in the history of known humankind, but we’re reading less than we did 50 years ago or more. Literacy is a precious gift. You are obviously a very accomplished person and I know that takes a lot of focus and a lot of understanding about time management and project prioritization to complete for instance a doctorate level program and I just wanna say how inspiring that is as a woman. I was a library assistant at Alliant Int’l University a little over 10 years ago and it was my favorite job working with grad students faculty and staff to support their educational needs. I have a bachelors in art history and my late grandfather was a medical doctor and I really believe education is so important for women. I’m so inspired by women who take on such challenges and accomplish so much on a personal level that requires so much dedication and so much motivation. I’m so grateful for your good heart. I have no doubt that you make that degree serve the people that you serve in your life. I’m really inspired by the Hippocratic Oath my grandfather must’ve taken in the 1950s or ‘60s of “Do no harm.” If only Presidents and politicians took the same oath at least to the people they claim to serve and represent.
This piece is remaining with me like the reverberations of sound ringing after a gong at the end of meditation. I too had a childhood among the birds in an acorn tree, with similar comings and going’s of caretakers leading me to similar coping strategies of molding myself into whomever it appeared most desirable to others that I be. Thank you for sharing, as I found a part of my story in your story and that makes me feel connected and a little bit more rooted than I was before I read it.
I love when a piece of writing comes into life just when you need to hear it. Thank you Michele, your work did just that. The pages this week were a mix of eye opening and mental block. A few days I wrote LOTS of affirmations and other days I spilled secrets I have never spoken aloud because I knew no one would read them (burn pages upon my death). One thing I do love about pages is the sense that time is slowing down. I constantly feel like I am trying to catch up, like my movement is guiding my breath instead of breath guiding movement. I can remember as a kid wanting something so badly that it seemed like it took forever to happen, I would count down the days, and now, I blink my eyes and a year has passed.
As for the questions asked; I did complete all days of pages. I did go on an Artist's date, but it still was well within my comfort zone. I'm working on scheduling something that makes me shudder a little just thinking about it, something that almost takes the breath out of my lungs, but that I can reason with myself it won't actually do me harm. The tasks were done; I felt like many of them brought new sight to my eyes. I found an affirmation I liked. I wrote 20 things I love to do, but only really came up with 16. I looked for more lives I'd want to lead and came up with 3 more. I created a pie shape and found what fulfilled me (even though I knew already where I was fulfilled, but chose to ignore it, and decided instead to slog along in areas that cause me frustration). Why do we do that? Why do we look for signs, then are given them, only to completely ignore them? I finished with 10 tiny changes and found that the one I could do this week was, 'have a good community of people' and I think I did that (goes along a bit with your post too ~ I love when the universe does that).
This week was easier than last week. My husband knows not to talk to me until after morning pages are done, working on the tasks helps center me to blocks of time where I can shut out all the noise and focus on being present, and I like the structure of the cohort. I also see where I can stretch myself, but I don't think I'm quite ready for that.
"One thing I do love about pages is the sense that time is slowing down.." I love this and I need to appreciate more that slowing down is a really really good thing. Thank you!
Your artist's date had you slowing down and finding the amazing in the little things; I'm going to give that a go, maybe even through the lens of a camera.
Tom, I also saw you mentioned climbing. What a way to be present and focused. One of my favorite past times, so I'm cheering you on to start back up.
Thank you for the encouragement. One of my great life lessons came from a lead climbing clinic 12+ years ago.
It was the last class so we we had the opportunity to climb/traverse across the ceiling. I remember getting to a point where the next grip was going to be a stretch, so I paused. I paused partially to figure out my next move, but also because I was afraid to fall, yet I quickly realized (as the muscle fatigue set it) that If I stayed still I was going to fall anyway. So I chalked up, readied myself, stretched, reached, got my hand on the grip, but then felt my fingers slipping. I fell, but at least I did so stretching myself
The lesson if you can't stretch yourself because you are afraid of failing, you will still fail by standing still, so you might as well go for it.
I can completely relate; I took a big fall on a lead climb and to this day there is a hesitation every time a move proves difficult. But, on my big fall I didn’t die, and I hardly got hurt, so why my hesitation. Each day I climb is a reminder I am stronger than the story my mind tells me. Get back on that wall Tom, I’ll belay you.
Oh ya, I noticed that, two people mentioned climbing. Right on. I have a little place with some boulders I go to and climb around on sometimes; it feels so good to be in contact with the stone, the granite, the earth. Omg you guys check out the Alex Honnold Nat Geo documentaries about his legendary climb without ropes up El Capitan in Yosemite. Breathtaking photography, too, of course. So inspiring. Great wisdom.
Thank you for sharing this Brie. Thankfully the universe doesn't usually send signs we need to hear only once. If we don't hear it the first time, it is likely to come back around again, nudging us along until we are ready to fully listen.
The burn upon death line had me laughing. I thought the same thing - these morning pages would be the most awful thing to be discovered upon my death for 2 reasons: 1) people might think I actually write this disorganized and scattered. 2) It is full of Secrets I am taking to the grave!
Funny how nature constantly challenges what we cling to as Natural.
I’m excited to read about how your world tilts and changes.
I feel inspired to reach out and a grab something before it lands, like a word. To not overthink and question, to not be so skeptical and untrusting that I say no to my yeses and yes to my no’s. Sometimes, we just gotta grab whats in front of us and make it magic, right?
I have sat with my morning pages every day this week compared to only a few days last week. I feel like the little tomato in the joke where the big tomato has to yell “ketchup!”
I made a list of Artists Dates, but I haven’t intentionally indulged in any yet. Not for lack of desire. Poor planning is to blame.
I stumbled upon an artist date though, quite accidentally.
I had an appointment in the Claremont Village. It was going to be a bit late so I had some time to find mischief. I hesitantly decided to go for a walk. I hesitated because I worked in the Claremont Village for 24 years. I don’t experience it the same way someone else might. I’m pretty sure I fought back an anxiety attack while looking for parking. I continued anyway. I went into Rio de Ojas and said goodbye to the amazing owners who brought so much color and culture and beauty to our little corner, and it felt good to thank them and wish them well.
I went to La Cremme for the first time. It’s been just down the street from me for 10(ish) years now, from where I’ve worked for so long, but I never had the time. I never made the time. Too busy. Must work.
I ordered a croissant, then decided to sit and have an espresso because it felt like Paris and I wasn’t ready to return to Claremont. I breathed it all in instead of rushing through trying not to be seen, and yes, I felt like an artist. I wished I’d had a beret. No one knew me and that made it quite nice. I continued down the street thinking I’d look for some stationary, something I may have looked for way back when at Raku or at that little quirky store that used to be behind Rhino Records. I did not find any stationary, but I found some wonderful soaps and lotions that will make my self-care ritual rather lovely.
I savored a place that I had acquired a sour taste for and allowed it to be sweet, and indeed it was, and I am grateful. Not bad for an accidental artist on an accidental date with a city she’s known (without knowing) too long.
Who contributes to my capacity for delight?
I’ve been sitting and thinking about this question for more than a moment and my answer is this: Whomever I allow. Those that make me feel safe without trying and those that make me feel seen without staring or poking or prodding.
My capacity for delight is determined by me and my comfort. I am most comfortable around those that are comfortable with themselves. I delight in those that delight in themselves.
"I’ve been sitting and thinking about this question for more than a moment and my answer is this: Whomever I allow." This strikes me deeply. I am going to sit with this as well.
what a magical date! so happy you stumbled onto it! and yes, when we delight in ourselves, we give unspoken permission for others to do the same, and visa versa. What a gift!
What a great photo and post this week Michelle! Always enjoy reading the life lessons you give.
Artist Way Response:
How did it go for you this week? My week went by so fast and today is the first day I am able to pause.
How many days this week did you do morning pages? How do you feel about this week compared to last week? I completed all days except on Saturday. I woke up late, and didn't feel well. But picked right back up. :)
How about your artist date? Will you share what you chose to do? I decided to check out a local thrift/vintage shop about 10 minutes from my house. I found and purchased a copy of a 1962 print edition of Better Home and Gardens Cookbook. It reminded me of my grandmother who has now passed. I sat at a coffee spot next door and had a matcha latte as I flipped through the pages. When I opened it up, there were hand written recipes for Portuguese Bean soup and Poi Bread. I think I purchased it hoping for a little piece of my Grandmother, and ended up with a Hawaiian Grandmother! It made me really curious about the person who owned the book, and did they also have a grand daughter desperately missing her Grandmother's recipes.
Did you do any of the tasks? If so, which ones? Any discoveries there? I did the "Where does Your Time Go" task and the "Twenty Something List." Both activities were kind of challenging, and the where does your time go made me feel like I'm not spending time on things I would like to do. The twenty something was fun and felt good to get out.
Who contributes to your capacity for delight? My husband and children contribute greatly to my capacity for delight. Also, I'd say meeting new or interesting friends is always delightful. I have so many memories of people I have met randomly, and we were able to have an interesting and really thoughtful conversation. They usually don't become really good friends as they are just visiting, but we keep in touch through social media.
I bet that 1962 Better Homes and Gardens cook book could tell some stories - all the belly's it has helped to nourish, the funny cooking missteps it inspired, and the oil stains on the pages from use. What a fun exercise in imagining!
I am getting more consistent with the MPs and am finding that I look forward to doing them instead absolutely first thing when I wake up versus thinking of it as a “task”.
I think I might be posting out of order, but, my Artist’s date from last week was to go to the library and meander around the children’s section and randomly pick out books and leaf through them before deciding what to check out. I’ve started reading children’s books that range from books geared for 3 year olds to teens and read Harry Potter (I’d never read this before) and am re-reading Nancy Drew and A Wrinkle in Time.
“I love words,” I said, “I catch them before they land.”
This was so delightful and I see it in all of your writing. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story.
That line got me too!
I also loved that line!
yes, such an enchanting line! How amazing to find those words in such a breathless moment.
Michelle - Thank you for this work. When I read it, I was struck by the reminder that as children we are introduced to complex stories that we only unpack with adults. Sometimes the nuance can change the whole story itself. You do such a lovely job of hinting at the tension of that complexity, your shifting understanding and the mixed emotion it leaves you with.
Regarding the AW:
1)I did the MP every day. I find this to be a lovely part of the day. I look forward to it. However, I was aware that more doubt and insecurities flowed through on the page today.
2) For the Artist Date, I did something similar to last week, but with a little twist. I had such a fun time looking through old photos, that I picked my favorite three of my grandmother, and I just wrote about what I saw. I tried to imagine what she was thinking, who was behind the lens, where she was, what stage of life she was in, and what happened around her. It was a different way to see her, and I had fun just imagining. I did this while eating at a yummy lunch.
3) I wrote down 20 things I enjoy. These types of activities frustrate me because so many of the things that I enjoy that I am not already doing cost money, which is a limiting factor. That just makes me grumpy.
4) I found a lovely affirmation this week from the Natasha Bedingfield song Unwritten, "No one else can speak the words on your lips." I wrote this affirmation at the top of each of my MP, and it directly relates to some of my insecurities: that I don't have anything that interesting to say.
5) Many people contribute to my capacity delight, from my family to my dogs to the neighbor boy I see running EVERYWHERE he goes (he does not walk, and it brings me joy to see). If I let myself, I can find delight many places.
Bree, I agree with money being a limiting factor in our enjoyment. I started doing one of the things I deem 'too costly' just one time a month and then take it from there. So, for instance I wanted to indoor climb so bad, I found a coupon on Groupon and said let's just do this. I ended up trading my gym membership for a climbing membership, it's overall cheaper AND I use it all the time where I didn't with the gym membership.
I also love your artist's date. Fantastic way to be creative, spend your time, and honor your grandmother.
What a creative exercise of looking at old photos and telling a story around them. I may have to borrow that one!
"No one else can speak the words on your lips." This gave my heart a little thrill when I read it. Copying it into my journal. Thank you!
I think I might steal your artist idea this week! I have never tried to write in public, but maybe this is a good time to try. I feel like the MP are getting harder, and I am finding myself taking longer to complete them.
Hi 👋 Bree,
Thank you for sharing. I’m thinking of a terra Brock meditation that I listened to where she talked about the importance of being with your emotions in each moment even when they’re uncomfortable and I think morning pages is like that. It’s a way to be present for ourselves, especially when we feel insecure or like what we have to say might not have value to others like it does to us. (I wonder if someone invalidated your voice at some point? Sensing a wound.) Writing for yourself and writing for an audience are two different things or if you write letters to old friends or letters to your higher power or letters to your enemies or your old lovers. Write a lot of letters to God, especially when I’m lonely and vexed and feel powerless. Just know that every single writer sometimes feels the same feelings and the difference is that a person dedicated to their creative path and to cultivating their creativity will continue to write even as you experience those feelings. it is hard sometimes but that’s how you know it’s important because it’s always hardest before the breakthrough. You have to recognize crises or potential crises to find solutions or prevent problems. You’re doing a good job. I huff and puff through my walk-runs if I’m not doing them regularly but I know the more I practice, the less uncomfortable my body will generally feel.
I love the family photos date, again with the grandmothers! I feel my grandparents with me every day and often imagine visits with their pictures, sometimes I dream about them. I want to remember my dreams more, I’m trying to incorporate recording them in my morning pages, I get insight when I make it part of my daily practice. It’s good fodder for MPs too.
Definitely with you on the limited budget concern. Sometimes if it’s important to me I put the word out on social media and among friends and community that I’d like to go horseback riding, for instance, and sometimes people know people with horses or whatever and I get to have an experience I can’t otherwise afford. I think Amanda Palmer wrote a book called Ask For What You Want (I think, or similar) and has made an interesting practice of the principle to build community over the last 2-3 decades especially among women.
I love the “ No one else…” quote; so apropos here, thanks again. I believe the whole human family is like a big puzzle and every unique piece has its place and every voice is truly equally valuable even if we don’t understand the details of how or why at some given point. I can’t count the times people in my life that are deemed less valuable or less fancy or less talented or less wealthy or less famous by the world have spoken words to me personally that have freed me from suffering and awful emotional and psychological burdens. The kindness I’ve been shown by decent people in private has been like god talking me through my challenges, carrying me through. Nothing could ever replace the most precious every day casual ordinary voices of my loved ones, my son and sisters, my mom.
What if your voice was TOO POWERFUL? What might that sound like? What would a powerful or so-called “too powerful” or too meaningful voice say?
1) Morning Pages: I wrote all 7 days, but one was late evening and another barely squeaked in before noon, seconds to spare. That’s an improvement over last week. The MPs were a little less invigorating some days this week than last. The most fun was pouring childhood friendship memories onto paper the date of my longest term friend’s birthday. Another observation: Morning pages are raising and shaping Artist Date plans.
2) Artist Date for Week 2: Had to be flexible; I was ready, but materials for that date were not, so it’s rescheduled for next week. Instead I spent the date time getting reacquainted with my sewing machine. Been hoping to do that for that… for years! This was the perfect excuse…I felt empowered just dabbling with minor mending and making sure I remembered what to do - or that the machine remembered what to do if I forgot. It’s older than I am and apparently also a more steady, forgiving workhorse than I.
3) I did a few Week 2 tasks. Task #2: Major activities and the time they consume - Significant Revelation: regardless what else is going on, the largest portion of every day is spent trying to stay warm (What a time and energy sink!). Task #3: It was difficult to list 20 enjoyable things when I was tired and grumpy, but hard to stop with 20 at a cheerier time. Task #6 Other lives: one was being a more fit and agile person. That lead to Task #8 - Ten Tiny Changes, including to locate a whole body exercise class that I’d enjoy (since the dopy gym on the next block hasn’t offered anything I enjoy in too long). While looking for other gym options (Tasks 9), I was surprised to have a real live VISUALIZE IT AND IT WILL HAPPEN experience! The local dopy gym had added an excellent - although poorly advertised - class 4 days a week and it was starting in 45 minutes! Task 10: I made it to the exercise class, will go back, and won’t be canceling my membership after all. Will now try visualizing beneficial outcomes to additional tiny changes.
Oh, forgot to answer check-in Question 4 - WHO contributes to my capacity for delight? I’d say for the most part this is me. My capacity for delight is magnified by sleeping enough, eating right, practicing good time management, and related functions that we each need to take at least some responsibility for in our own lives. Further contributors are the people support my efforts in these areas. Additional credit to people who pass by at the right place and time bearing something that stimulates curiosity and who are willing to share their own glee equally.
Yay for the exercise class. One win at a time. Keep visualizing and manifesting!!
Whitney - This sounds like a highly productive week! Also, I would agree that mood can greatly impact how I approach many tasks, including my capacity for delight.
I agree, too.
I often feel that making to the exercise class is itself an accomplishment. Yes!
Not until you mentioned it, I noticed I also spend a lot of time keeping warm. l like your sewing date. working with machine.
So, Pauline, have you done anything to spend less time trying to stay warm? After identifying my
Need, I started wearing a knit cap indoors as well as out and doubled the thickness of the indoor jacket. It’s helped, as have hot beverages and keeping moving. I could use more techniques to stay warm while sitting still for a spell.
love that outcome for you!
What a fun and fabulous read, Whitney! So many things to love about your epiphanies this week.
I have always wanted to learn how to use a sewing machine. My grandmother was so good at sewing by hand. I wish I had asked her to teach me. My sewing now just gets me by. What a great happening that you found a class you went to and enjoyed. I just signed up for hula classes two days a week. I'm also looking to get back into exercising as I really haven't been as active as I should. But this time, I am only picking something I absolutely enjoy. I've struggled with being too hard on myself at the gym, and I no longer want that for myself.
I definitely believe that the best exercise for anyone is the one they will DO! Hula class sounds like just what is called for. Awesome!
Hi Whitney, thank you for sharing your experiences with AW this week. I am curious all week how it’s going for everyone else and have been looking forward to reading the responses.
I love savoring the sweeter moments of my childhood on paper especially - our capacity for bliss as kids is so pure. I love to embellish my memories with fantastic and magical elements that reveal my inner world. Friendship is sweetest in childhood sometimes! We’ve got to treasure all the blessings, experiences and relationships we can. Truly a happy life is built on such things. And sewing machines! Good job even getting to mending- I’ve been neglecting a couple items myself and buy fabric for projects I’ve yet to complete. I think you’ve inspired me to give myself a sewing date too sometime soon! I wish I was better at it. But instead I shop too much lol. Ok jk. Ok good job connecting with the new class, right on. You’re really moving some energy around in your life and it’s only the end of week 2! Good on you.
The sewing machine time was a delightful artists date, now I’m thinking there might be an online sewing class that would help add structure to my need to improve a little (demystify tensioning equipment). It’s been interesting to see how you embrace the artists way experience!
I've been light on tasks from the book but excited and productive about tasks of my own design. I've always wanted to be more of a minimalist. What do I mean by "more" of a minimalist because I'm not much of one now? However, I've always wanted to be a solid, committed minimalist. I yearn to channel Marie Kondo and want to coordinate what I've learned from her with what I'm tiptoeing around now: "The Art of Swedish Death Cleaning."
My artist's date was tea with a dear Pilgrim Place buddy who, at age 87, is 11 years my senior. I hadn't seen her since before Christmas, and we had lots to share and ask. She served a tea that bloomed into a flower in her clear glass pot, and we poured and poured without one drip.
One topic that arose was that she needs some wardrobe infusions for a granddaughter's wedding later this spring, a bush plane flight beyond Anchorage, where she will likely need long silk underwear even on warm days. I've just packed two bags of things for her perusal, and I'm thrilled to see the bottom of several of my drawers, having given her a number of my formerly favorite drawers.
A bonus: she invited me to join her and other Pilgrims tomorrow at the corner of Indian Hill and Foothill in Claremont to hang out with the locals for our version of the Women's March. We plan to be there from 1:15-2:15 p.m., and Indivisible members are coming at 2 p.m. to continue presence into the afternoon. My sign will be vertical, attached to my yardstick: "Our Bodies are None of your Business" on one side and "I am a TRANS ALLY" on the other side. Invitation to join us. Park in the US Bank lot on the NE corner.
I was looking for you, Janice, on Saturday, but now I see we missed each other as I came later! Still, United!
Every bit of this warms my heart.
Janice - I love your commitment to continued connection with others and growth, as well as your generosity.
The tea with your friend sounds lovely! I’ve yearned to be a minimalist but an adapted minimalist. So I like a pretty natural but minimalist aesthetic generally. I have too many books, though, always.
Thank you for sharing this practice and endeavor and your experience with it! Thank you for protesting in the streets for our human rights and dignity!
So grateful Leonard Peltier has been freed, his sentence commuted by Biden. Truly grateful.
And I’m such a bloated minimalist….any company will be welcome.
I always want to be more minimalistic, and then Amazon comes and destroys this want!
Hi fellow artists, Pauline checking in:
Morning pages--
My first week was full of energy and curiosity. I noticed I didn't write what I thought I would write, my chattering mind. This past week getting up early to write was hard. It felt so much like a chore, and needs to get done in a timely fashion. A few mornings, I was a zombie but strangely could still write! These past few days, I noticed I wrote a bit about my dreams and lingering thoughts.
One morning I "let" my left hand write a few lines. Left hand has its own mind. The 2nd time I realized that as much as it might seem fun, left hand is damming up the brain drain. Now, left hand writes the date and time on top of the page and finishing time at bottom.
Affirmation--
I picked 3 affirmations from the list and did write them 5X after the morning pages. I thought I was getting faster on morning pages, and now, affirmation added back time and right hand got tired. So right hand writes 3X, left hand 2X. Somedays this feels tedious and tiring, but I still feel the genuine intention and direction, and find them comforting.
Tasks--
I wrote down 20 things I enjoy doing.
After reading the crazymakers, I spin out a few pages of storms. It's tiring.
Artist Date--
The first full moon of this year was on Monday. I checked the time for dawn on Tuesday so I could still see the full moon. Out of my front door, I would walk uphill and see the moon. I got up earlier that morning, finished morning pages, bundled up and went out for a walk under the full moon. The air was cold and dry. Our street was quiet except a couple cars starting on their driveways. I walked by a house permeating their laundry scent. Up on a cross road, city workers started to blow the leaves and debris, so I turned back with the moon behind me. Halfway downhill, I saw the sun rising! It was a delight!
I walked uphill seeing a setting full moon, and downhill a rising sun. And I thought of Tom Hill. Thank you.
I love that you played with left and right handed writing. I often suggest this to therapy clients when struggle to work something out because we can tap into different parts of our brains with different handedness. You can even have a conversation with yourself this way. Did you notice different emotive aspects to your writing as you switched? (I agree, it is too tiring and laborious for a brain drain though!)
That's interesting, writing with left hand to gain different perspectives. I just felt left hand's got its own mind, like it's talking a different tone or switching subject. My right hand got impatient and wanted to get the morning pages flowing. I even thought maybe I would take my left hand for an artist date or something, ha!
That's a great idea, Pauline!
My daughter can write perfectly with both hands. I wonder if her creativity will be different depending on the hand she uses! I'll have to challenge her. She is only 7, but I think it would still be interesting. Me on the other hand, my left hand makes it look like I've escaped the asylum. hehe
Pauline, talk to us more about left hand right hand. Why and when did you start that?
The moon was glorious, wasn't it?
Brie, yes, it's just so special looking up a full moon in a clear sky knowing my family and friends can also look up at the same moon, and that thought connects us no matter where we are.
My left hand can only scribble and I have to be patient to wait for its movement like watching a kinder learning to write. I can't quite remember how, but I might be thinking of my mom. My mother is a leftie. When she was growing up, she was taught not to use left hand to write or to hold chopsticks in public, so she writes and uses utensils with right hand. But at home she uses her dominant left hand chopping, sewing, washing, brushing, doing chores. I find using left hand amusing.
I have a friend growing up on the farm. He said when his right hand is tired from shoveling, he would just switch to the left hand and continue to shovel. The first time I wrote affirmation, my right hand got tired, so I switched to left hand.
Pauline thank you for the shout out.
I love the details you bundled into the description of the morning from the laundry scent, the leaf blower, and quality of the air. I felt like I was there with you.
Thank you , Tom
The morning moonlight walk sounds amazing! The image of your left hand having a mind of its own and allowing it to participate in your writing made me laugh. What if it really did and you couldn’t tell it what to do. You had to coax it like a child and convince it to cooperate!
Ha! it does feel like a child, the left hand. I think about all the vaccine shots on my left arm and I will be nice to this child.
Love the moon walk!
Pauline, I saw your moon too, by chance, while avoiding icy patches on the path around the snowy creek with a neighbor just before the sun rose, pink sky progressing behind, full moon behind tree branches ahead. I appreciate your up and down hill astronomy.
How wonderful we were both looking at the same moon
Pauline, Way to stick with the MP despite it feeling more challenging this week. Also, your artist date sounds lovely. Like Tom, I also loved the descriptors you offer.
Thank you Bree!
Sounds like a really nice peaceful walk. One of my favorite things to do is sit on the beach at night. The sounds of the ocean makes the moon even more beautiful.
Pauline, so interesting to explore handedness. Love the observations of the moon. I hear you about crazymakers and it just never ends with some people.
I savor the beauty of the moon often, especially this most recent, glorious!
Artists Way check in
This week the morning pages flew out of me and I felt I didn’t want to stop when I hit the end of page three. Also I felt exhausted and didn’t want to get up to start them. Good lesson in pushing through and keeping my artistic commitments because I see an immediate payoff when I do the thing even if I kind of don’t want to! Also, some people I had not connected with in a while popped up in my morning pages, leading me to reach out and reconnect. So that was delightful!
How many days morning pages?
All days I wrote pages, one day it was delayed until the evening.
Artist date: I tried a new Yin Yoga class that included self foot reflexology with golf balls that had been rolled in lime and vanilla essential oils. It was slow and sensuous and relaxing. I really enjoyed how the scent of the oils made me feel like I was transported to somewhere tropical when I closed my eyes during each stretch. Somehow lifted from snowy Maine winter and nestled down gently into a white sand beach hundreds of miles away.
Tasks: I listed things I enjoy and wow, that was hard for me. I sat stumped for some time. I felt I had to come up with things that were “fun” and I judged the things that immediately came to mind as overly productive. I really sat with this one all week, after managing to come up with a smattering of ideas. What do I enjoy? Why? If I felt free to do anything at all, would I enjoy different things? I did take heart coming to a realization that writing is absolutely something I enjoy, deeply and profoundly.
Who contributes to my capacity for delight: My dog. My two kids. Just by being adorable and curious about the world and by showing me how to delight in snow and other simple pleasures of life. My husband who plans our travel, enabling me to go to new places and experience wonder. Comedic actors and podcasters, goodness I delight in people who can make me laugh! Other people’s pets and other people’s babies.
On the whole I am trying to lean into the affirmations to help me reframe the dread and anxiety I have coming up around the memoir I am writing. When I have self doubt I tell someone supportive and ask for them to help me reframe, or I write down a reframe for myself. What could also be true? What’s another way to look at this? Where is this negativity coming from? Can I set it down now?
I’d like to give your method of dealing with self doubt a try. There are many supportive people, but I fear that not everyone is the right support for individual self doubts - I might have gaps. Do you have different supportive people for different types of self-doubt?
Absolutely. I trust the support of people who also have self-doubt.
Whitney - I'd love to be one of your supportive self-doubt reframers Whitney!
What a kind, kind offer!
Massimo and I, two world-class self-doubters, offer our support.
The Yin Yoga experience sounds like a lovely one, a full body immersion.
I love the idea of reframing when we have self doubt; i just need to practice it more.
The Yoga Class you mentioned sounds very cool. I hope you are staying warm in the cold weather too! I was stumped by the things that were fun. I got to 15, and thought, am I boring if I can't easily come up with 20 things I enjoy!? I personally think memoirs are tough. It takes a lot of self reflection that I think can be draining. Julia Cameron mentions one of her "Rules for Road" is "set small and gentle goals, and meet them." So for your memoir, "set small and gentle goals." :)
Good wisdom thank you 🙏🏼 small and gentle goals
What a wonderful discovery to reaffirm your joy of writing! Why is it so hard to come up with things we enjoy? I liked your question probing that if we were free to do anything at all, would we enjoy something different.
Annelise, great effort for the commitment of getting up early to write pages. You artist date sounds wonderful, especially the essential oil golf ball reflexology.
I also spent some time coming up with 20 things. I have this one on my list: scrolling down IG watching dogs and babies videos.
Annelise, I love writing with you again. I especially loved the foot self-reflexology with golf balls. Brilliant.
1) Morning Pages - I managed to write every morning, but started a new journal book on Wednesday, and the lines are ruled more narrowly. Consequently, my hand was getting tired at the end of the three pages, and it took me longer to write.
2) Artist Date - yesterday evening I went out to the reclaimed salt ponds near my office, and restarted Spiritual Formation in the Wild (an online class that has guided outdoor activities). It was time to reflect on thresholds (how we cross from one domain to another), silence (can I hear the birdsong over the cacophony of cars and airplanes) and simply being present. A key aspect was the concept of microdosing awe; finding the amazing in the little things like a bird in the foliage or a magnificent pinecone just out of sight. It reminded me that my photography practice is all about finding beauty in the world (even if just for a moment)
3) I completed one task to list 20 things I enjoy, and when I last did them. A few observartions: First it was initially hard to get to 20, I think I got to 15 immediately and then had to stretch for the next 10 (no I did not stop at 20). Second, there were a number of things that I had not done in months and sometimes years (climbing). Lastly, I need to do the follow up exercise and figure out the next little thing I am going to do in that regard.
4) I love this last question, but I sense that my answer is incomplete. For me delight often comes in small moments (microdosing awe), and is a product of being surprised and amazed. So I have to be present, to be aware, and to be open. To not have a preconceived notion of what to expect and not to be jaded or cynical.
Fantastic!!!! I've taken the spiritual formation in the wild course, and it helped ground me in wild(er)ness, and yes, I can see how that is flourishing in your photography. I love the 20 activities task because it requires us to be honest about what really delights us. Good work, Tom!
Yes! I truly believe in micro-dosing joy. In fact, the truest joys to me come in the smallest awareness - the scent of strawberries - a thrill. Thank you for sharing this.
Silence. Oh, how I love thee. I love this idea for an Artist Date, seeking places to reflect and open up to silence and be present. I am going to think about how I want to incorporate that into a future date. Thank you for the idea.
Good job on the pages with narrow rule! I keep journals for art and writing and music (blank moleskines, 3-pk XL softcover) and for AW, I dedicated a ruled journal (set), and I’m surprised it is filling so fast.
Really cool artists date! Definitely going to look up the Spiritual Formation in the Wild thing. Seems like there could be a tie-in opportunity there for Where The Wild Things Are, but definitely I’ve been staring into all the eyes 👀 of all the wild things in my spiritual life since probably like before I was born lol. Joy, fun, and awe have similarities and differences, nuances that are neat to discern while in the experience of the moment. Love that ‘microdosing awe’… really excellent. And something that makes it worthwhile to release attachment to energies and concerns that interfere with the full experience of it. Neat to know you through this shared AW practice! Thank you for sharing your connection with & experience of nature, spirit, words, notebooks, silence and awe. I’m gonna go eat some criminis! Or baby portobellos… hmm 🤔
Always look for what’s wild! The wild(er)ness has so much to teach us.
“Micro dosing awe” what a great term!
I love your reflection on thresholds and silence. And I am sure you are very patient in finding and waiting for beauty in the world. Inspiring words.
You inspire me.
AW Check in:
This week went pretty good. Picking up momentum.
I did morning pages daily this week. I love/d it. I feel like my whole day is more focused. I’ve completed a couple very important tasks that I had been having difficulty prioritizing to completion prior. The writing challenges me; getting my body to get the hands on the pen and notebook and cause them to contact and to write actual words feels like I’m working through a force field, like the repellent force of a powerful set of magnets with matching poles that seek to push away from one another.
The first half of the week, I felt like there was a psychic (mental/emotional body; of the psyche, or mind) wall bisecting my torso laterally. I practiced an integration skill from my therapy skills toolbox (& Thich Naht Hanh) and tried to sit compassionately with each “side” of the wall to see from the two points of view and go back and forth between them, and wrote about this perception of this interior energy “wall.”
Second half of the week was easier. The more I write and the more focused I am on completing it (as close to morning as I can get), the more insight and inspiration I’m experiencing throughout the day. Now I have to start listening to those little ideas as they drift through my consciousness and start capturing their existence on the page especially after I’ve cleared out my creative channels with Pages.
My Artists Date/s were funny because they were not moments I would have expected to bring such joy but, the heart wants what it wants, and you can’t always find it on someone else’s idea-list (even Julia Cameron’s!)
I wanted to give myself an uninterrupted hour to listen to an audiobook- a Walter Isaacson biography. My other competing idea that made me laugh was just to program my new robot vacuum (a Christmas gift from my mother) to repeatedly to deep clean my (cumulatively overdue) kitchen and dining room linoleum. I laughed it off but really wanted to deep clean. When I lit my candles and set up my space to enjoy an audiobook, I was 10 minutes into it before I felt an agonizing and overwhelming urge to do the deep cleaning. I laughed at myself and indulged the urge to clean, spent a couple hours overseeing the robo-vac (“Crash”) and learning to program and troubleshoot it. Then watched it work, getting other areas organized while it worked.
After dinner and watching the news, I enjoyed the audiobook for two hours. I want more of both. I also decided on a list of 10 books minimum that I already own or can borrow from the library that I want to read in the next 6-12 months. Reading is an important way to refill my creative and intellectual well. Having a deeply clean, reasonably well-organized home and creative environment supports my peace and health and my sense of freedom to make new creative messes! Taking books and lectures in and doing research takes the pressure off that I put on myself to produce writing when I may be holding back to avoid being triggered by overwhelming pain and suffering about the past.
I often feel like I need to be careful with my words both publicly and privately (I’ve learned this through experience), and I need to be well-considered in what I share, which requires the restraint of a discerning and disciplined adult, and honestly a lot of my best creativity comes from these exuberant inner children. Cleaning and organizing sets the stage for me to be able to let these other voices out and to explore their perspectives from a self-compassionate viewpoint (or, the imagined viewpoint of an internalized version of a compassionate leader- I.e., the Dalai Lama, Pema Chodron, Thich Naht Hanh, Mirabai, MLK, Jr., Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, Elvis, or other artists; poets, teachers, seekers, sages, seers, healers, truth-tellers, compassionate and non-abusive revelators, kind respectful loving believing and accepting moms, creatures, creators, shamans, yogis, kind respectful loving accountable dads, faith servant-leaders who support agency / free will / recovery from abuse; abolitionists, total anarchists, nature spirits, fellow sinners, anti-fascists, wise survivors, and other terrorists.) So cleaning is creating space. And destroying germs and too-much-chaos. And reading or listening to gain in-depth understanding is delicious. And being able to hear myself think in a clean house.
I haven’t yet done the tasks but I intend to do at least the ones involving making pie graphs and such, these seem useful. I caught myself in conversation recently blaming my mom and older sister for my own creative blocks and frustration (what?! who, me?! *perfectly imperfect* 😬) and this chapter reminds me not to make excuses about being blocked if I’m not practicing the processes of unblocking myself. It’s just like adding chia to my morning yogurt since I was 48 or 50, it’s just good for your healthy energy flow. No one else can do your workout and get internally and externally fit for you. It cleans stale energy out my chi! :) About the object lessons via pie graphs, prioritizing the needs and wants of my inner artist is challenging but the practices lead to art-making that satisfies and validates my existence like no other. It frees me to self-actualize and transcend the limitations I’ve internalized in the past.
My adult son (Seth, 26) contributes to my capacity for delight more than anyone because he’s also an artist and musician, and my late sister’s spirit, who was/is my collaborator and best friend, too. Everyone who loves and does or has done artists way and found it as empowering and transformative as I did/do. Mother Earth contributes the most to my capacity for delight because she gives me everything I am and need and want; I derive life and breath and nourishment from her every moment. I could not exist without her gravity and the grace of her coexistence with other heavenly bodies and forces. I yearn for our human family to hearken to indigenous voices that understand the symbiotic and reciprocal nature of our relationship with the earth as her custodians for time immemorial. I am also endlessly comforted, made curious and entertained by artists and entertainers of every milieu and the inexpensive easy access to great music, art, film we have at our fingertips in the modern world. Technology and innovation contribute to my capacity for delight. I get so excited to learn about new discoveries and inventions.
FYI- it might take until Monday for me to read & respond to others’ posts this week but I’ll get caught up around then. Thank you for patience, dear cohort.
Take care of and be gentle to yourself. There is no timeline on reading and responding (or I hope there is not :) )
There’s not!
The Roomba idea was so funny! I know how that is though to have that one nagging task and when you finally do it, you feel so much better. A common theme in my morning pages is how much cleaning and organizing I have to do!
Oh funny, me, too. Lists galore!
The listening to your inner voice/needs and making changes to what your artists date was sounds very mindful to me. That seems to be deepening that inner connection with yourself and giving room to shift. Also, I love a clean space to be able to work and live. It helps free the mind.
I cannot focus while listening to audiobook and also slow in reading. I admire people who can focus on listening and have an extensive reading list.
How many days this week did you do morning pages? How do you feel about this week compared to last week?
- This week, I gave myself permission not to do the morning pages per se, but I did continue my commitment to writing every day. This turned into a combination of a new Substack post and journal entries in reflection on some of last and this week's assignment prompts. This felt good to me, to take what I need right now from this course and take ownership of it in this way.
How about your artist date? Will you share what you chose to do?
- My plan was a solo bike ride in the beautiful sunshine, but alas, I injured my neck & shoulder and instead spent that day laying on my back packed with ice packs. This, however, gave me permission to step out of caregiving roles and indulge in reading chapter after chapter of a book on contemplative spirituality. I love to read but always put it last after responsibilities, which results that I seldom read more than a few pages unless I am on an airplane. So I got an unexpectedly cozy artist's date.
Did you do any of the tasks? If so, which ones? Any discoveries there?
- In addition to going back to complete some of the Week 1 tasks I'd missed, I did #1 (but not daily), #2 (I found myself deeply uncomfortable with the amount of time I calculated I spend reading news rather than creating, though satisfying with my other categories), #3, #4 (this list of "two favorite things you've avoided that you can do this week" including Go biking and Read stories, so you can see how that panned out for me!), #5, #7 (my pie chart ended up with a triangle inside of it, interestingly), #8, #9, & #10. I just missed #6, so maybe I'll get back to that one in the coming week.
Who contributes to your capacity for delight?
- I do! It's easy to list the people I love to be with, but I want to pause and recognize that if I depend solely on others to bring me delight, I will never find it. When I am intentional to remain mindful and grateful for the ever-present small delights all around me - like the hummingbird flitting through my orange tree as I sit in the warm sunshine - I allow myself delight. And then adding to that are my kind, thoughtful teenager, my husband, my chosen family, and my friends. And even beyond that - a kind stranger, a thoughtful book review, a small interaction with an innocent toddler in a public space. I find it's really about being open to the beauty of others, and the delight follows.
Deborah - The way you are making this course your own is inspiring. As a recovering rigid rule follower, I find your willingness to make adjustments in ways that work for your life and your needs helpful to allow myself to do the same. Thank you for opening up.
Thanks, Bree!
Yes! We are responsible for our own happiness and if we don't seek and find that, we are less capable of doing all the things we do for others.
Such a great highlight to remember to include OURSELVES in who delights us. Thank you for the reminder! :)
It’s curious that you indulge in reading when you’re injured. I love reading so much (despite dissociation and ADD) that I would probably injure myself to get to it which is a bad idea! In my morning pages I discovered there’s 10-12 books I really want to read this year to nurture my mind, intellect, understanding, and concentration. This means watching fewer true crime documentaries for me. Definitely more family/ drama/action films to relax and art films to enrich my visionary tapestry of muses. I love audiobooks, especially on Buddhism to listen while I walk unless I need to hear my surroundings more. (Birds and breezes? Yes. Traffic? Nah.) anyway reading counts. As a society we publish, print, promote and purchase more books than ever in the history of known humankind, but we’re reading less than we did 50 years ago or more. Literacy is a precious gift. You are obviously a very accomplished person and I know that takes a lot of focus and a lot of understanding about time management and project prioritization to complete for instance a doctorate level program and I just wanna say how inspiring that is as a woman. I was a library assistant at Alliant Int’l University a little over 10 years ago and it was my favorite job working with grad students faculty and staff to support their educational needs. I have a bachelors in art history and my late grandfather was a medical doctor and I really believe education is so important for women. I’m so inspired by women who take on such challenges and accomplish so much on a personal level that requires so much dedication and so much motivation. I’m so grateful for your good heart. I have no doubt that you make that degree serve the people that you serve in your life. I’m really inspired by the Hippocratic Oath my grandfather must’ve taken in the 1950s or ‘60s of “Do no harm.” If only Presidents and politicians took the same oath at least to the people they claim to serve and represent.
Michele, regarding your line: "Last week, I felt myself filled with uncertainty, fear, and that tingle I get just before my world tilts and I change."
Unless I'm mistaken, you just snuck this one in on us. What a zinger.
But don't be afraid. World-tilting is what makes the ride worthwhile. All E-ticket rides welcomed.
I look forward to telling you soon :)
Yes, I am quite curious about this line. <3
This was another brilliant turn of phrase.
This piece is remaining with me like the reverberations of sound ringing after a gong at the end of meditation. I too had a childhood among the birds in an acorn tree, with similar comings and going’s of caretakers leading me to similar coping strategies of molding myself into whomever it appeared most desirable to others that I be. Thank you for sharing, as I found a part of my story in your story and that makes me feel connected and a little bit more rooted than I was before I read it.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Annelise. Your story makes me feel less alone.
I love when a piece of writing comes into life just when you need to hear it. Thank you Michele, your work did just that. The pages this week were a mix of eye opening and mental block. A few days I wrote LOTS of affirmations and other days I spilled secrets I have never spoken aloud because I knew no one would read them (burn pages upon my death). One thing I do love about pages is the sense that time is slowing down. I constantly feel like I am trying to catch up, like my movement is guiding my breath instead of breath guiding movement. I can remember as a kid wanting something so badly that it seemed like it took forever to happen, I would count down the days, and now, I blink my eyes and a year has passed.
As for the questions asked; I did complete all days of pages. I did go on an Artist's date, but it still was well within my comfort zone. I'm working on scheduling something that makes me shudder a little just thinking about it, something that almost takes the breath out of my lungs, but that I can reason with myself it won't actually do me harm. The tasks were done; I felt like many of them brought new sight to my eyes. I found an affirmation I liked. I wrote 20 things I love to do, but only really came up with 16. I looked for more lives I'd want to lead and came up with 3 more. I created a pie shape and found what fulfilled me (even though I knew already where I was fulfilled, but chose to ignore it, and decided instead to slog along in areas that cause me frustration). Why do we do that? Why do we look for signs, then are given them, only to completely ignore them? I finished with 10 tiny changes and found that the one I could do this week was, 'have a good community of people' and I think I did that (goes along a bit with your post too ~ I love when the universe does that).
This week was easier than last week. My husband knows not to talk to me until after morning pages are done, working on the tasks helps center me to blocks of time where I can shut out all the noise and focus on being present, and I like the structure of the cohort. I also see where I can stretch myself, but I don't think I'm quite ready for that.
"There is a divine plan of goodness for me"
Love love love love this, Brie! Something about a commitment to the work and to each other that opens us right up!
"One thing I do love about pages is the sense that time is slowing down.." I love this and I need to appreciate more that slowing down is a really really good thing. Thank you!
Life does move too fast.
Your artist's date had you slowing down and finding the amazing in the little things; I'm going to give that a go, maybe even through the lens of a camera.
Tom, I also saw you mentioned climbing. What a way to be present and focused. One of my favorite past times, so I'm cheering you on to start back up.
Thank you for the encouragement. One of my great life lessons came from a lead climbing clinic 12+ years ago.
It was the last class so we we had the opportunity to climb/traverse across the ceiling. I remember getting to a point where the next grip was going to be a stretch, so I paused. I paused partially to figure out my next move, but also because I was afraid to fall, yet I quickly realized (as the muscle fatigue set it) that If I stayed still I was going to fall anyway. So I chalked up, readied myself, stretched, reached, got my hand on the grip, but then felt my fingers slipping. I fell, but at least I did so stretching myself
The lesson if you can't stretch yourself because you are afraid of failing, you will still fail by standing still, so you might as well go for it.
I can completely relate; I took a big fall on a lead climb and to this day there is a hesitation every time a move proves difficult. But, on my big fall I didn’t die, and I hardly got hurt, so why my hesitation. Each day I climb is a reminder I am stronger than the story my mind tells me. Get back on that wall Tom, I’ll belay you.
I love that: "I fell, but at least I did so stretching myself." What a great metaphor for a fulfilling life.
love the lesson not to stay still
Oh ya, I noticed that, two people mentioned climbing. Right on. I have a little place with some boulders I go to and climb around on sometimes; it feels so good to be in contact with the stone, the granite, the earth. Omg you guys check out the Alex Honnold Nat Geo documentaries about his legendary climb without ropes up El Capitan in Yosemite. Breathtaking photography, too, of course. So inspiring. Great wisdom.
Free Solo is amazing and breathtaking!
The more I write and read this affirmation, the more I find some comfort from it
Thank you for sharing this Brie. Thankfully the universe doesn't usually send signs we need to hear only once. If we don't hear it the first time, it is likely to come back around again, nudging us along until we are ready to fully listen.
Of course sometimes by the third or fourth time, the universe's nudge is not so gentle.. :)
I completely agree.
The burn upon death line had me laughing. I thought the same thing - these morning pages would be the most awful thing to be discovered upon my death for 2 reasons: 1) people might think I actually write this disorganized and scattered. 2) It is full of Secrets I am taking to the grave!
Who knew Woodpeckers were so kinky?!
Funny how nature constantly challenges what we cling to as Natural.
I’m excited to read about how your world tilts and changes.
I feel inspired to reach out and a grab something before it lands, like a word. To not overthink and question, to not be so skeptical and untrusting that I say no to my yeses and yes to my no’s. Sometimes, we just gotta grab whats in front of us and make it magic, right?
I have sat with my morning pages every day this week compared to only a few days last week. I feel like the little tomato in the joke where the big tomato has to yell “ketchup!”
I made a list of Artists Dates, but I haven’t intentionally indulged in any yet. Not for lack of desire. Poor planning is to blame.
I stumbled upon an artist date though, quite accidentally.
I had an appointment in the Claremont Village. It was going to be a bit late so I had some time to find mischief. I hesitantly decided to go for a walk. I hesitated because I worked in the Claremont Village for 24 years. I don’t experience it the same way someone else might. I’m pretty sure I fought back an anxiety attack while looking for parking. I continued anyway. I went into Rio de Ojas and said goodbye to the amazing owners who brought so much color and culture and beauty to our little corner, and it felt good to thank them and wish them well.
I went to La Cremme for the first time. It’s been just down the street from me for 10(ish) years now, from where I’ve worked for so long, but I never had the time. I never made the time. Too busy. Must work.
I ordered a croissant, then decided to sit and have an espresso because it felt like Paris and I wasn’t ready to return to Claremont. I breathed it all in instead of rushing through trying not to be seen, and yes, I felt like an artist. I wished I’d had a beret. No one knew me and that made it quite nice. I continued down the street thinking I’d look for some stationary, something I may have looked for way back when at Raku or at that little quirky store that used to be behind Rhino Records. I did not find any stationary, but I found some wonderful soaps and lotions that will make my self-care ritual rather lovely.
I savored a place that I had acquired a sour taste for and allowed it to be sweet, and indeed it was, and I am grateful. Not bad for an accidental artist on an accidental date with a city she’s known (without knowing) too long.
Who contributes to my capacity for delight?
I’ve been sitting and thinking about this question for more than a moment and my answer is this: Whomever I allow. Those that make me feel safe without trying and those that make me feel seen without staring or poking or prodding.
My capacity for delight is determined by me and my comfort. I am most comfortable around those that are comfortable with themselves. I delight in those that delight in themselves.
"I’ve been sitting and thinking about this question for more than a moment and my answer is this: Whomever I allow." This strikes me deeply. I am going to sit with this as well.
what a magical date! so happy you stumbled onto it! and yes, when we delight in ourselves, we give unspoken permission for others to do the same, and visa versa. What a gift!
What a great photo and post this week Michelle! Always enjoy reading the life lessons you give.
Artist Way Response:
How did it go for you this week? My week went by so fast and today is the first day I am able to pause.
How many days this week did you do morning pages? How do you feel about this week compared to last week? I completed all days except on Saturday. I woke up late, and didn't feel well. But picked right back up. :)
How about your artist date? Will you share what you chose to do? I decided to check out a local thrift/vintage shop about 10 minutes from my house. I found and purchased a copy of a 1962 print edition of Better Home and Gardens Cookbook. It reminded me of my grandmother who has now passed. I sat at a coffee spot next door and had a matcha latte as I flipped through the pages. When I opened it up, there were hand written recipes for Portuguese Bean soup and Poi Bread. I think I purchased it hoping for a little piece of my Grandmother, and ended up with a Hawaiian Grandmother! It made me really curious about the person who owned the book, and did they also have a grand daughter desperately missing her Grandmother's recipes.
Did you do any of the tasks? If so, which ones? Any discoveries there? I did the "Where does Your Time Go" task and the "Twenty Something List." Both activities were kind of challenging, and the where does your time go made me feel like I'm not spending time on things I would like to do. The twenty something was fun and felt good to get out.
Who contributes to your capacity for delight? My husband and children contribute greatly to my capacity for delight. Also, I'd say meeting new or interesting friends is always delightful. I have so many memories of people I have met randomly, and we were able to have an interesting and really thoughtful conversation. They usually don't become really good friends as they are just visiting, but we keep in touch through social media.
I bet that 1962 Better Homes and Gardens cook book could tell some stories - all the belly's it has helped to nourish, the funny cooking missteps it inspired, and the oil stains on the pages from use. What a fun exercise in imagining!
I am getting more consistent with the MPs and am finding that I look forward to doing them instead absolutely first thing when I wake up versus thinking of it as a “task”.
I think I might be posting out of order, but, my Artist’s date from last week was to go to the library and meander around the children’s section and randomly pick out books and leaf through them before deciding what to check out. I’ve started reading children’s books that range from books geared for 3 year olds to teens and read Harry Potter (I’d never read this before) and am re-reading Nancy Drew and A Wrinkle in Time.
Post in any order you like! And welcome. What a lovely idea to re-read children's books. Especially in a library! Love it!!!!!
You are welcome here, and this community will hold you.